Teen Girl Accuses Parents of Being Toxic, Dividing the Internet, but We Kind of Agree

@workchronicles123/TikTok

When you’re growing up, your reference point for "normal" is the environment the adults around you have created. But as you mature, you get out in the world and start comparing and contrasting. You see media that either supports or condemns this environment, and you start to realize maybe some of the elements of your upbringing were anything but normal.

One teenage girl has been using her TikTok account to discuss what she calls "toxic" parenting from her parents. Over the course of three videos she shared some of her parents' behaviors. They're … interesting, and certainly different. But what’s been surprising is the public response to her posts. Many have argued that instead of toxicity, her parents’ odd rules represented their intense care and concern for her. We can’t say that we agree.

The teen said she now realizes her parents implemented some toxic rules.

In the first video, the girl, who is obviously working to conceal her identity, shared that after speaking with some of her friends, she now recognizes that the rules her parents implemented were toxic.

Ultimately, she ended up describing 14 requirements they had. In our opinion, they vary from strict to overprotective to downright weird and just as toxic as she described.

She says every morning, her parents required her to walk around the block for 20 minutes and would time her to make sure she did it. That's an interesting ritual but not necessarily toxic.

She says her parents tracked her speed and called or texted when she was going too fast.

Secondly, she said they downloaded an app that would track her speed when driving. If she was driving too fast, her parents would call or text to tell her to slow down. I can’t say we're entirely opposed to that app — a driving teenager is a scary thing. But making the teen look down at a phone with a call or text is certainly not safer.

She says her parents wouldn’t allow her to sleep in the room with her phone. Instead, it had to be placed in a designated area before she went to bed. As an adult, this would p— me off, but I can also understand how being on a phone at night could impede on the much-needed sleep of a teen.

Her parents made her create a routine for her days off.

@workchronicles123 If you want more toxic upringing rules lmk! #toxicparenting #toxicparent #toxicprentcheck #toxicfamily ♬ original sound - Work chronicles

She says that whenever she had a day off, her parents made her create an hourly schedule with tasks she was supposed to complete. At the end of the day, her parents made her submit proof the tasks had been completed.

This was the first thing that registered as extremely problematic. Children deserve free time and rest. Why would they need a routine on one of the few days they get off?

The next behavior was actually something I experienced in my own home. She said when she would hang out with other people, her parents would contact the other child’s parents so they could know what was going on.

This was more so the case when I was in elementary and middle school, but I know this life and don’t agree that it’s toxic.

TikTok users initially thought her parents were just strict and loving.

After the first video, the girl’s comment section was full of people who didn’t see a problem with her parents’ choices.

“You need to look up the definition of toxic! This is a parent who loves you,” one user wrote.

“Imagine that parents that discipline. This generation ,” another commenter wrote.

There were a couple of people who saw an issue. “Definitely too rigid (and I’m a family therapist). Parenting is balance of structure and emotional support,” another person wrote, but she was in the minority.

By the time she got to the last video, the picture was clear.

@workchronicles123 Thoughts on no-sex contracts? This is just my experience with parent-child contracts. I actually think they could have potential for success, they just were not successful in my family #toxicparenting #toxicparent #plantprentcheck #contractsigning ♬ original sound - Work chronicles

In subsequent videos, after the girl explained that her father dictated the length and style of her haircuts, the tone of the responses began to shift. Some users even reached out with apologies.

The original poster explained that one of the major issues with her parents' rules were that they were not consistent among her siblings. The girl had to sign a "no sex" contract with her parents, but her other two siblings (a brother and a sister) did not. It’s all very odd.

Our only hope is that as this person gets older, she’ll have the knowledge and space to navigate a relationship with her parents that takes her feelings of safety and autonomy into consideration.