One of the absolute best things about kids is, well, the fact that they are absolute weirdos. They are a nonstop fountain of questions and they are curious about everything. We love that!
But let's be real, sometimes the questions kids ask can really make a mom wonder how the toddler, preschooler, and big kid brain works. That is especially true when you combine a child's love of questions with the most potentially embarrassing location: the bathroom.
We asked 15 moms for the weirdest things their kids have ever asked in the bathroom and the results are predictably hilarious. Spoiler alert: we've got tampon questions, public restroom mortifications, and poop. Bathroom stalls may not ever look the same again!
The Shoes
"I let my son go into a public restroom alone for the first time, which I almost instantly regretted. I was waiting at the door (he was pooping and taking forever) when I heard him ask himself a horrifying question: 'Now, where did I put my shoes?' Ugh! Barefoot in a gas station restroom, so gross." — Laura N., Sandy, Utah
The Wrong Color
"After a trip to an ice cream place, my son went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, he called out, 'Um, is my poop supposed to be bright blue?' which was very concerning. Turns out it was from all the blue food coloring in the Superman ice cream." — Jennie C., Austin, Texas
Do I Have To?
"I think the weirdest was when my kid asked do they have to wipe with toilet paper 'every time' or just the 'sticky ones.' I don't even want to know how they define that or why they were asking that question three full years after potty training." — Irene S., Rainy River, Minnesota
Wanna See?
"A real highlight was when we were in a Target bathroom and my 4-year-old son very loudly asked, 'Hey, mom, do you want to see what my penis looks like when I poop?' Um, no, no I don't! I have no idea why he felt like that was something he wanted to share in that moment." — Carson S., Joplin, Missouri
What's That?
"I feel like every mom has some moment when their kid asks a period question, right? I still laugh when I think about the absolute horror in my daughter's voice when she yelped, 'What is that?' at seeing a pad with blood on it when I was peeing at the store." — Kristin C., Chicago, Illinois
She Farted!
"We were in public bathroom and a woman in another stall farted really loudly (hey, she was in the right spot! No shade!) and of course my kid asks 'Did you hear that? She farted! I wonder if she had too much asparagus?' No, I have no idea why he specifically wondered about asparagus. He's never even tried it." — Chrissie E., Jacksonville, Florida
Why Does Daddy Take So Long?
"My son actually asked the realest question the other day. He asked if having a phone in the bathroom makes your poop come out slower. I asked him why he wondered that and he said it was because Daddy takes so long to poop compared to me. He isn't wrong." — Valerie M., Hudsonville, Michigan
Important Question
"I really loved (and by loved, I mean I was totally embarrassed by) my kid asking, 'When my butt fur grows in, do you think it will be green like yours?' while we were in the crowded church bathroom. Yes, I dyed my pubes green as a St. Patrick's Day joke for my husband." — Name withheld by request
Back In?
"This is super gross, but the most memorable and weird question was from when my daughter was like 3 years old and just done potty training. She looked at me while she was going the bathroom and said, 'Um, if I don't use my hand, is it OK to put my poop back in?'" — Hannah W., Clovis, California
Corny Question
"I'm still not really over the time that my son asked, while we were in the locker room at the neighborhood pool, if I wanted to come see his corn again. Yep. We'd have corn on the cob the night before and he was discovering the concept of the corn poop. Sorry, neighbors!" — Faith S., Walla Walla, Washington
How Did That Get There?
"I was brushing my teeth while my son was pooping (motherhood is so filled with magical moments) and I saw him look into the toilet and say, 'How did that get there?' which is a concerning thing to hear. I looked and it was a Lego. He must have swallowed it but then forgot, I guess?" — Gracie H., St. Paul, Minnesota
Oh Poop!
"I wish this question had happened in the bathroom! We were shopping at Home Depot and my kid asked the question about how to flush the toilet. The toilet he had just used. The toilet that was a floor model display and not actually meant to be used for going the bathroom. It was so mortifying." — Ullie R., Phoenix, Arizona
Tell Me When
"When he was potty training, my son was playing with and pulling on his penis. I asked him if he wanted to sit on the potty and he said yes. As soon as he sat down, he looked at his penis and said, 'When is this going to fall off?' and when I started laughing he got so mad and yelled, 'Just tell me when! You tell me when!'" — Leslie B., Las Vegas, Nevada
Deep Question
"My son's babysitter was dying laughing when she told me that she was giving my son a bath, he let out a bunch of big toots in the tub. She said that he gave a big sigh and then asked her why it feels so good to fart in the tub. I don't know man, that's one of life's unanswered questions." — Yvette I., Tulsa, Oklahoma
Little Helper
"I was in a Target bathroom and needed to change my tampon. I had my 2 1/2-year-old in the stall with me and she was chattering at top volume, like she always did. When I pulled the tampon out to change it she started asking all the questions. What is that? Why are your putting that in your butt? And most awkwardly, 'Can I help you put it in your butt?' So awkward!" — Raven D., Tucson, Arizona
