Teen pregnancy is always complicated. Most of the time, these pregnancies are unplanned and the parents will have to make some tough decisions. They have to be sure they are doing the right thing for themselves and the baby. Sometimes, a family member is able to step up and adopt and raise the baby, which might seem like a best-case scenario because it can keep the biological parents in the picture without the burden of being solely responsible for the child.
This is — or was, shall we say — the case with one teen mom and her sisters. The girl has an older sister facing fertility struggles, and after she found out the teen was pregnant, she agreed to adopt the younger sister's baby. All was well until the older sister and her husband met the baby's father. They determined he's too "ugly" and decided they no longer want the child.
The rest of the family was understandably shocked, and a third sister told the adopting sister that she didn't deserve a child after her hateful behavior. Then the third sister took to Reddit's AITA forum to see if she was wrong for what she said.
OP's sisters are in very different situations.
OP has two sisters. Maya, 28, is married but unable to have a child, and she and her husband have been trying to adopt for two years. Her younger sister, Harper, is 16 and found herself with an unplanned pregnancy. Harper was devastated when she found out, but it seemed to be a blessing for Maya.
"Maya was ecstatic and convinced Harper to give birth to the baby and let Maya adopt it," OP explained. "Maya promised Harper that they will help her through the pregnancy, take good care of the baby and Harper can be in the baby's life in an aunt role."
The plan seemed perfect.
For about two months, things seemed to be going off without a hitch. The pregnancy was going well, and Maya was looking forward to becoming a mom.
Then Maya and her husband met the baby's father and things changed. The father was OK with the adoption; that wasn't the problem. Maya had other issues.
"The problem was that Maya and her husband thought he was really ugly. The boy is short, overweight and has a prominent nose and that was enough for Maya and her husband to change their mind about the adoption."
Surely she can't be serious, right?
Maya told Harper she would no longer interested in adopting the baby.
OP was there when Maya told Harper she would not adopt the baby. Harper was distraught, unsure what she would do with the baby now. Maya's husband piped in saying that this was all Harper's fault in the first place.
"Maya's husband told her that she should've told them how the father looked. They accused Harper of purposefully hiding the baby's father because she must have known they wouldn't want to adopt the baby of they saw him," OP wrote.
OP lost it on them.
Seeing how devastated Harper was and thinking about how shallow Maya and her husband were, OP went off.
"I told them that they don't deserve a baby, any baby and I hope nobody will ever give them one," she wrote. "I also told Maya that I think she is infertile for a reason, the universe knows what a terrible person she is and that's why she can't have a baby."
Maya started to cry, and OP's family ended up turning on her. The women's father told OP that she owed her sister a huge apology and that Maya has the right to adopt whomever she wants. Should OP have kept quiet?
Redditors had thoughts.
For instance, is Maya in this to be a mother or to have a showpiece to carry around? Lots of people thought that it certainly seems like the latter.
"Maya sounds like a narcissist who doesn't want a baby. She clearly just wants an accessory and living doll," one person commented. "That baby dodged a bullet, and there are plenty of families out there who would love to provide a family for it. (Also. I think you should have been even harsher with M.)"
"It's a baby, not a decoration. Part of being a parent is loving your children unconditionally, so if they'll only love a child if it's pretty that's a condition and they shouldn't be parents," someone else wrote. "What you said was very harsh, and maybe you coulda put it nicer, but I agree with you and understand that emotions were high so you weren't choosing your words carefully. Also Maya and her husband have now ruined Harper's life cause now she is carrying a baby she otherwise wouldn't be if they hadn't said they were going to adopt it. Super sh—y."
Some wondered if Maya and her husband really get how adoption works.
Are these people clueless? You don't get to shop for a baby to adopt like you do a pair of shoes. It's certainly not about the looks, Redditors agreed.
"Do they realize that in a traditional adoption, they most likely won't have a chance to meet bio dad, and would have 0 idea what he'd look like? Which means that they'd have no idea how conventionally attractive the guy would be, leaving them clueless as to how the baby would look as they got older," one commenter wondered.
No one knows what any baby will look like.
"I know someone who was adopted at birth and then basically shunned for life by her adopted mum because she didn't grow up to be tall, blonde, and thin. Luckily, her dad was a good guy and she at least had that," another person pointed out. "But the mom basically would tell her to her face that she felt cheated. That 'mom' sounds like your nasty sister."
What about poor Harper? Where does she stand in this?
Maya made a promise to a teenager, and now she has backed out of it because of something superficial. Some wondered if she had even considered Harper in this situation at all.
"NTA. What a perfectly awful thing (for your sister) to say to someone, especially a pregnant teenager," one person commented. "I hope your little sister can find a lovely family to adopt her baby."
Another commenter shared well-wishes for the teen mom, writing, "Poor Harper. Hope she has a good support system to help her get through the pregnancy and the difficult decisions ahead of her. Big hugs to Harper."
As someone else pointed out, what happened might be for the best, writing, "Maya is also gaslighting Harper by accusing her of knowing they wouldn't adopt her baby if she told them what the baby's father looked like. She is placing the blame on a scared and vulnerable CHILD. Maya is nowhere near fit to be a parent."
OP was maybe a hair harsh.
Although most Redditors agreed that Maya is the a–hole, some felt that OP went a bit too far.
"Maya is clearly the worst, and you are right that she doesn't deserve to adopt, but holy f— you went straight for the jugular with those comments!" one person wrote. "You are right, no doubt, but man, you didn't have to be that vicious."
"I think you were YTA, but it was completely justified. When you choose to be a mother via the traditional way, you also have no idea what genetic lottery you'll get," another person responded.
Here's to Harper, hoping that she finds a loving home for her child, and that Maya and her husband can find some peace and perspective.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
