Pregnancy is a time full of contradictions. You’re at your most powerful, growing another human being. But you also feel weakened and limited in performing the everyday tasks you’ve been doing for years. You’re celebrating the new life that is coming into your world while also mourning the way things used to be. The same is true for the people around you. You may even receive more kindness — people offering you their seat or wishing you a healthy pregnancy.
You may also be met with some off-the-wall, intrusive, or downright rude comments. Recently, women on Threads shared the worst things they heard while pregnant. We know it’s wild out there, but some of these responses may surprise you.
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The comments started off rather 'light.'
Erika Green of South Carolina recently logged onto Threads with a question for her followers. “What’s one of the worst things someone has ever said to you while pregnant?” she asked. Green, a mother herself, went first. “At my baby shower with my first, I had an older lady tell me ‘You don’t look pregnant, you just look fat,’ I had severe [hyperemesis gravidarum] and had already lost 60+ pounds at that point,” she wrote.
But the comment Erika heard was one of the milder ones. Another woman shared that when she learned her daughter would have medical complications, someone told her to “just abort the baby and have a new one.” To make matters worse, this mom said it wasn’t the only time someone said something like this to her.
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One mom shared that she was hearing wild comments, even with her third child.
Sadly, the inappropriate comments don’t cease with subsequent pregnancies. One mom shared her birth plan for her third child with a stranger in the park, in response, the woman said something truly awful. The expectant woman told the stranger that she was going to have a home birth with a midwife, where she was most comfortable.
After a “prolonged silence,” the stranger said, “I really hope your baby doesn’t die because of your negligence.” Thankfully, the pregnant woman’s husband stepped in and ended the conversation. Sadly, this mom said she cried on the way home.
One woman's husband was the one to deliver the most shattering blow.
Sometimes the hurtful comments come from the people who are supposed to be there offering support. One woman shared that when her daughter was 1 year old and she was eight months pregnant with her second child, her husband told her he “didn’t like [their] daughter anymore” and didn’t want another baby.
He didn’t stop there though. He said he hoped that his wife miscarried or that something would happen to the fetus because he was “tired of doing the family thing.” The husband’s wishes were not granted. This mom’s children are 6 and 5 now, and she’s in a healthy new marriage.
Others heard comments about gender and the timing of having a child.
Some people cast their own gender preferences on expectant mothers. “When I announced I was having a 2nd boy, I had more than 1 person say something like, ‘that’s too bad’ or ‘I’m sorry.’ I had NEVER expressed to any of them some concern about having boys! Went on to have 3 boys. Love them all lol.”
Another mom shared that a close friend questioned the timing of her pregnancy. “Pregnant with my first and shortly after 9/11, my closest friend told me that she thought I was selfish to be bringing a child into the world when it was such a mess. I was too shocked to say anything back,” she recalled.
We’re wondering if that friend is still around nearly two, much messier, decades later.
