Overthinking an email or text before hitting send is something we all do from time to time. But for women â and, perhaps especially, for mothers â it seems to happen all too often. That's probably why one woman's TikTok is resonating so deeply with working moms everywhere. On the one hand, it really highlights the crippling self-doubt and anxiety women face while trying to constantly people-please. But on the other hand, it also underscores the lack of support working moms have.
The post was shared back in August by Marissa Peirce.
It's been floating around TikTok ever since but has really started to go viral in the last few weeks.
In it, Peirce is reading aloud a text she just drafted to her boss, before asking her partner to "okay" it so she can hit send.
To be fair, this isn't exactly a rare occurrence (most of us have probably done the email/text approval thing at least once in recent memory). But that's not entirely the point. The thing that makes this video stand out is where Peirce was while she was worrying about a silly text message.
Believe it or not, she was in a hospital room, about to give birth to her first child.
That's right â even in the throes of labor, Peirce was worried about "saying the right thing" to her boss.
@mpmoney27 labor is stressful, calling out is even more stressful ##pregnancy ##birth
"I am in labor," she says, while reading the text aloud. "I just got admitted to the hospital â smiley face. Would it be OK if my mom or brother picked up my paycheck tomorrow â question mark."
Then, looking toward her partner, she asks for his approval.
"Perfect," he tells her, before the clip ends.
Looking back on the moment later, even Peirce could see the irony in all of this.
That's likely why she shared it in the first place.
"Me, literally in labor overthinking the text I'm sending to my manager to call out," she wrote in the video caption.
The TikTok was mostly meant to be humorous, and in a lot of ways, it really is. But as a lot of people pointed out in the comments section, it's also kind of … sad.
A lot of people found it to be a not-so-subtle commentary on what it means to be a working woman in the US.
In other words: What it's like not to have guaranteed paid leave or affordable health care. And, depending on the job you're able to manage while raising kids, you might not even earn a livable wage.
(Is it any wonder why 1 in 4 women return to work within two weeks of giving birth in the US?)
Throughout our lives, every one of us will need to give or receive care. Any one of us can get a virus, a diagnosis. But in America more than 75% of us do not have paid family leave and our working families, our small businesses, our economy suffers. We need #PaidLeaveForall now.
— Paid Leave for All (@PaidLeaveforAll) November 29, 2021
"Tell me you work in the US without telling me you work in the US," wrote one TikToker.
"This is painfully American," added another person.
âOmgggg being a woman in the workforce is something else,â wrote a third commenter.
"Late stage capitalism," someone else quipped.
A few people jumped in with mock responses from Peirce's boss.
But honestly, those are kind of sad too â mostly because they highlight just how overworked Americans are and how guilty they're made to feel if they take any time off at all.
"I see why the baby has to be there, but why do you?" wrote one person.
"I understand, but next time please do not let us know last minute," shared another commenter.
Some TikTokers shared similar stories of their own.
âMy boss texted me while I was in the hospital asking if I was going to make it to work at all that week," wrote one mom.
âMy job called me while I was in the hospital after delivering my stillborn son (they knew this) to ask when I was coming back," added another person.
"My old job would have said, 'If you don't show up, you're fired!'" wrote someone else.
Speaking with BuzzFeed recently, Peirce gave a bit more backstory to what was going on when this video was shot.
And, according to her, she didn't actually share it for the reasons people may have thought.
"I went into labor at 2 am on a day that I was scheduled to work at 10 am," she explained. "I was overthinking this text message to my boss mainly because I have anxiety. I was a week and a half from my due date, so I was a little early for a first-time mom and no one really expected me to go into labor."
In her case, she wasn't worried that her boss would be mad â she was just worried, period.
"I was a young parent, giving birth in a hospital in the middle of the pandemic â a week and a half early," she continued. "Having to call out of work was the cherry on top for my anxiety."
That said, she can see the connection people made to paid leave.
"I empathize with all of the commenters talking about their lack of parental leave," she told the news site. "I am extremely disappointed in the United Statesâ lack of maternity and paternity leave."
In fact, Peirce is a prime example of someone who doesn't have the luxury of taking a paid maternity leave through an employer. In fact, she couldn't even take what some might consider to be the bare minimum.
"Most people that I know worked up until they went into labor, like I did," said Peirce, who works at a drive-thru coffee shop. "I know people who have gone back to work just weeks after having children. I was unfortunately offered no maternity leave and my partner was offered no paternity leave. He went to work less than 24 hours after we came home from the hospital."
In the end, Peirce said her boss was flexible and her coworkers graciously covered her shifts. But even so, she felt "lucky" to have this situation, even though she only got mere days off and no pay.
If that doesn't say something about how badly paid leave needs to be overhauled in the US, we don't know what does.
