My Sister Made an Offensive Joke & Now I Don’t Want To Pay for Her Wedding Dress

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Is a joke really a joke? What if the joke pierces through your heart and triggers you deeply? 

On the Reddit Forum "Am I the A–hole," someone (we'll call the person OP for original poster) posted about backing out of paying for their sister's wedding dress because of an offensive joke.

The OP starts by saying that her ex-fiancé left them for his pregnant mistress right before their wedding in 2017. OP elaborated on how much that hurt and still does.

"That image, those details are forever engraved on my mind and I'll never forget how I felt that day. This was truly a turning point in my life. My family [has] always been there for me so I kept close to them."

Now, OP's younger sister is engaged and her wedding is coming up. The sister is struggling financially, so OP offered to pay for her wedding dress.

The sister's dream dress costs $7,000.

Although the gown is very expensive, OP agreed to pay for it since "she literally cried because she wanted it."

Then one night while they were at their parents' home eating dinner with their aunt and cousin, OP shared that this happened: "My aunt was asking my sister about the wedding and my sister said that everything was going according to plan and then casually laughed and said, 'Let's just hope he won't [run] away with a pregnant mistress or something [on] our wedding day.'"

Both the sister and aunt start laughing and mocking the OP.

OP elaborated on why she expected this behavior from their aunt but explained why she is upset with her sister.

"[I]t's my aunt that would usually bring up what happened from time to time and say stuff like 'if what happened didn't happen you would've had at least 2 kids now' or 'Do you know what day it is? [Y]our wedding anniversary!' It's harsh but she stopped doing it anymore. Maybe my sister is being influenced by her but still. It hurt the same, and more coming from my own sister."

OP shared her reaction to her sister's offensive joke.

"I was blown away completely … It happened so fast I got up and started screaming at her calling her an idiot but my parents asked me to take it easy and she said it was a joke and she didn't 'think' I'd react so intensely."

Then OP grabbed her stuff and told her sister she is getting "zero dollars for her dream wedding dress" and left.

Later, OP talked about what the family thinks.

"[My dad says] I was too harsh on my sister over a joke and said that I know this is how she is with her dark sense of humor. They said she's been crying after I decided to back out of helping her and said this'd ruin her wedding. They want me to reconsider my decision since it might damage my relationship with my sister but I refused."

OP was left wondering if she was being overdramatic for backing out of her offer.

The majority of Redditors sided with OP and defended the decision.

"Let's all joke about someone's trauma, and then get mad at them when they react exactly how you'd expect someone with trauma to react," one person commented.

Someone else talked about OP's entitled sister. "Yep. Sister is entitled to her sense of humor. It just happens to be expensive," the person wrote. "And OP is entitled to her sense of humor. OP's sense of humor is saving her $7000. I mean, that'd make me laugh."

Another advised OP on how to use that $7,000 she just saved.

"OP take that $7,000 and buy yourself a nice little vacation, laugh all the way from the airport to your hotel room. Also if your sister is struggling for money it's ridiculous to spend $7,000 on a dress she will wear for a few hours," the person wrote. "That kind of decision-making is likely WHY she is struggling, financial dumpster fire."

Lastly, one Redditor criticized how horrible OP's family is treating her.

"The aunt can cough up the $7000. I also love how the dad tries to guilt trip OP that she might be ruining the relationship with her sister, while ignoring that sweet little sis fired the first shot," the person commented. "Shouldn't dad be telling the little sister she was cruel and potentially ruining her relationship with OP? Why so one-sided??"