While the holidays can bring a lot of joy and merriment, there’s also a lot of holiday stress associated with the season. According to the American Psychological Association, a 2023 study found that 89% of people experienced some sort of stress related to the holidays. Some of the biggest causes of that anxiety came from financial concerns, dealing with the loss of a loved one, feeling pressure to have a perfect holiday, and having too much to get done.
Whether you’re worried about how much money you’re spending on gifts, potential conflict among family members, or how to best entertain guests for a meal, it can start to become a lot to handle.
We need to take care of our mental health this holiday season, and these 12 ways to reduce holiday stress will hopefully help.
More from CafeMom: Science Proves Husbands Stress Moms Out Twice as Much as Kids Do & We Feel Vindicated
Set Expectations
We can set expectations both with our immediate and extended family. Maybe we explain to our kids ahead of time that they will just be getting a few gifts and some stocking stuffers so they know what to expect come Christmas morning. We can teach them about how the meaning of the season is about more than just presents.
With extended family, it’s OK to ask that perhaps they don’t bring up politics or other potentially controversial subjects during Thanksgiving or Christmas meals. If they know going into dinner what is and isn’t best to speak on, it could help prevent potential conflicts.
Although not everybody is good at listening to guidelines, having them in place is at least a good start.
Delegate
There is no reason for us to do everything ourselves. Ask kids if they can help with decorating the tree, wrapping presents, or setting the table for holiday meals. Have your partner help plan the gifts for their side of the family. Ask relatives to bring a dish or two if you’re the one hosting. People usually want to help anyway, we just need to be prepared to ask for it and accept it.
Have a Potluck
Planning a full holiday meal for a large group of people is super stressful. Turning the meal into a potluck gives everybody a chance to bring their favorite dish, and you don’t have to do all the planning and cooking. As Christine Koh wrote for Boston Mamas, “A potluck means you start the holiday off with a unifying gesture as soon as everyone walks through the door.”
Another tip: Don’t be afraid of disposable dishes and utensils to make cleanup a snap
Minimize Extraneous Stressors
Think about what you can cut from your holiday plans. Do you need to attend the office Christmas party? Can you skip making holiday cards or at least do digital ones to save time on labeling and mailing? Do you have to offer to host a meal or is there someone else in the family who’s expressed interest in hosting?
Cutting back on extraneous stress makes it easier to handle what the rest of the season throws at us.
Honor Lost Loved Ones
It can be difficult to navigate a holiday season after losing a loved one. My recommendation, as someone who lost her mom a few years ago, is to make sure to honor them in some way. Their absence will be noticeable, so ignoring it just makes the pain worse. Instead, engage in one of their favorite traditions or start a new one in their memory.
Maybe cook one of their favorite dishes, watch one of their favorite holiday movies, or make a playlist of their favorite Christmas songs. Do whatever you can to fit them into the celebrations so it doesn’t feel so empty.
Focus on What's Important
Prioritizing what matters most during the holidays — family time, togetherness, and traditions — can help outweigh the stress the season causes. As Arthur C. Evans Jr., the American Psychological Association CEO, said in a press release: “Psychological science tells us that setting aside time to strengthen our relationships and engage in traditions can benefit our physical, mental and emotional well-being, which can prepare us to better manage stress year-round.”
Take a Walk
Taking a breather to go on a walk can help recalibrate your system. It’s also hugely beneficial for those also dealing with seasonal affective disorder this time of year.
The Mayo Clinic said that exercise can help “relieve stress and anxiety” and recommended that people “take a long walk … or simply sit on a bench and soak up the sun. Even on cold or cloudy days, outdoor light can help.”
Make Travel Easier
If we have to travel for the holidays, there are a few ways to make that journey easier. Here’s a list of 20 TikTok hacks for simplifying travel: from smart packing to how to entertain little ones on a flight. The hacks may not solve all our travel woes, but they’ll hopefully ease some of them.
It's the Thought That Counts
Overspending on gifts can be a source of stress for many families during the holiday season. It’s a good time to remember that it’s really the thought that counts when it comes to presents. Acts of service or handmade gifts may mean just as much, if not more.
If you’re a good baker, try gifting some cupcakes or cookies. Know how to knit? Who doesn’t need a warm scarf this winter? Maybe offer to babysit for a loved one or help with an upcoming house project.
Try a Gift Exchange Instead
Classic gift exchanges, like secret Santa or white elephant, work because they only require us to buy and bring one gift. If you have a large extended family, perhaps suggest one of these types of gift exchanges. It will take the pressure off everybody and they’ll probably be thrilled.
Mistakes Make Memories
Don’t feel the need to have a “perfect” holiday season. Often it’s the “mistakes” that become the best memories. When I was a child, my family traveled out of state for Christmas and couldn’t have a tree. Instead we wrapped garland around an old shovel that we found in the house we were staying in. My cousins and I still fondly recall how fun it was to decorate Shovel Tree.
It's Not That Serious
In an interview with Harvard Medical School’s On The Brain, Ellen Braaten, an associate professor of psychology, explained that it’s not worth getting too worked up over the season. “The holidays are just another time of year,” she said. “Certainly something to mark, but not the end-all, be-all.”
It’s so important that we remember that when heading into the holidays. If we relax a little bit, we can probably even enjoy things a whole lot more.
