If only men would listen to our advice and follow all of it — what a world this would be, right? Less war, better decor, and fewer pleated pants. But it's not like they never listen to us. We asked a few men what kinds of advice the do like to get from the women in their lives — and what advice they're just going to pretend they didn't hear.
Don't give men advice on these.
1. Directions. "Do not want advice on directions. Ever," says Jordan F. of Clifton, New Jersey. "I'd rather use the North Star." Almost every guy mention directions.
2. Anything they already consider themselves an expert on. For Ed of Sacramento that means cooking. He says he doesn't like being "micromanaged" on that. (Who us, micromanage?!?)
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Do give men advice on these.
1. Clothing and style. This one comes up a lot. "Clothes advice is good, as long as it's before I show up dressed already," says Jordan. "It's annoying to show up and get the look like, 'oh, that's what you wore?'"
Jeff from Los Angeles says he leaves aesthetic choices up to his wife "given that I'm married to a designer." J.T., also from Los Angeles, says he wants to know things like whether or not he looks good in a goatee.
2. Sex. They all want to know what we like in bed. Related to that (we're assuming), Jeff says, "Most important advice we can get is about what we really don't know. What makes them tick?"
3. Things they need help with. Work problems, bad habits they want to change, important decisions — these are the things they want our advice on. In fact, ideally it's not even about giving advice; It's more about working things out together as partners.
4. Big picture stuff. Men seem to be comfortable with advice when it's delivered as a general philosophy rather than a specific critique. Scott in Basel, Switzerland says the best advice he ever got from his wife was, "Don't let your anger get in front of your rational brain." A.K. of New York still remembers this gem from a former girlfriend: "You only grow when you move outside your comfort zone." Being inspired can often be more motivating than being told what to do.
I should point out that almost as important as what we give advice on is how that advice is delivered. "It should be done quietly and privately if possible," says David or Portland, Oregon "Not in a public, shaming manner." "What it boils down to is how that advice is communicated," says A.K. "It's better when it's in a collaborative fashion, not a me versus you way, or with a 'you need to fix this' kind of attitude, but more in a 'hey, this is what I noticed and this is how I feel about it' way."
How does your husband or partner feel about your advice?
Image via Photographee.eu/Shutterstock
