When we get into sticky dating situations, we often turn to our crew, aka support system of friends and fam, for some advice. While this has probably been around as long as courting has been around, it reigns true now more than ever before. We can thank the prevalence of social media platforms and texting, which basically just make the waters of dating even more difficult to navigate, for that.
If dating were easy, then there probably wouldn't be millions of articles on the subject. Heck, there's even an entire industry based on dishing out good dating advice, just look at dating coaches or matchmakers. But as much as there's good advice, there's also a bunch of bad advice out there too.
We all have that one friend who we always go to for dating advice and that one friend who we love, yes, but would never ever ask about how to respond to a text from the guy that we're into. In fact, most of us have probably learned over the years that sometimes turning to your friends and family for dating advice isn't always the best move, since everyone tends to handle their own relationships differently.
So we went out to ask 17 people on the worst dating advice they've ever received (and will probably roll their eyes at from now on in the future.) Add them to your own list of advice to take with mountains of salt.
Being the "chill girl"
"To be chill or let things just roll off. If something bothers you, you should definitely say something. Being chill gets you nothing!" – Alicia L.
Everyone deserves a second chance?
"'You should at least give him a second date.' When I said he was boring, they were like, 'oh, maybe he was shy,' and I was like, 'no, come to play or GTFO.'" – Allyssa K.
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He's probably not "just scared"
"I liked this guy, and we had hooked up and flirted, but he’d ignore me for a few days or be weird the next time I saw him. I liked him so much and was talking to my friend about it, and she was like maybe he’s scared of being with you. Nope, he just didn’t like me and was talking to other girls." — Nicole G.
What's the rush? Oh, that's the rush
"I was told once to take it slow and see where it went. So I did. We had opportunities to, you know, hold hands, kiss, etc, and I didn’t follow through. She ended up moving on because it seemed like I wasn’t interested." – Jaren T.
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Reminder: It's the 21st century
"My freshman year of college, a friend told me that women shouldn’t ask men out because men only ask out women they’re interested in. So if a guy doesn’t ask you out, he’s not interested. And it makes women look too aggressive." – Katie S.
Date while you're young, they say.
"Especially when I first entered college, people didn’t know I had a boyfriend and they all thought I was single. So a lot of the girls I met, especially the older ones would tell me to date as many guys as possible just because I was young and wouldn’t get that many when I got older. I always thought that was dumb advice." – Rebecca W.
Excuses, excuses
"So like when someone’s ghosting you, or not responding quickly, or keeps canceling, sometimes friends try to instill false hope or give that person excuses for why they are just being bad communicators!" – Dana R.
Oh, high school days
"'That if a guy is mean to you it’s 'cause he’s into you.' It was more in high school, but used to get thrown around all the time — like, 'oh, he’s mean to you 'cause he has a crush on you and is just giving you attention.'" – Emily B.
Maybe it's best to let some people go
"[After a bad fight with the guy I was seeing, my friend] told me, 'Well, to play devils advocate, if you really like this guy, now is the time to fight for him.' … She said that if I really still liked him that I should text him. Obviously, I didn’t take the advice and I never spoke to him again." – Gloria N.
To be an as*hole or to not be an as*hole
"When I first got to college, my RA used to tell us on the guys floor that to get girls to like you, all you has to do was be mean to them. And by that, he meant like using mental warfare? Like ignoring them or I treating them badly now and then. Basically negging them." – Mark C.
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Some antiquated advice
"Don't eat too much and don't drink too much, or else you won't look ladylike. This was from my mother." – Jeanine W.
Long distance relationships
"I know this may sound harsh … but [my BF] was told for our long distance relationship, 'why not break up with your girl … you can find someone to start your life with earlier instead of waiting four years,'" – Camie N.
Should you put a ring on it?
"I was 18, living with my girlfriend and my dad suggested we get married. Good ole Christian logic there. Would’ve been a terrible thing to do. It was a very toxic relationship so I’m glad I didn’t take him up on it." – Jon D.
A lesson from your mom
"[My mom] told me to handle all his finances because if he doesn’t have money, he can’t cheat and spend it on other women like my dad. It always comes back to my dad." – Ivy H.
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But if the drink is free, right?
"I think the worse dating advice I've ever been given is to just go on dates for the free food and entertainment … it's kind of selfish and also kind of dangerous, because if I have a gut feeling of not wanting to go, there might be a reason for it." – Sarah H.
Flight attendant advice
"The senior [women] I work with told me I shouldn't be in a relationship if I want to be a flight attendant, and to just ditch the guy I was with, but they're all divorced and bitter." – Jessica U.
How to get a guy in 10 days
"I read a lot of Cosmopolitan in high school, [and] that definitely put ideas into my head … Reading that garbage made me think that I always needed to be polite, act dumb, and do everything I could to make the guy like me. The fear being: that any other behavior would lead to him to think I was a cold bitch. I’m just now learning there’s no reason to be polite or answer uncomfortable questions on a first date." – Joy E.
