When it comes to fashion, we usually try not to judge. Some people can just rock a pair of Crocs, OK? We're usually pretty permissive when it comes to people's personal styles, but we admit that sometimes we see a fashion trend that makes it really, really hard not to judge. Last year it seemed like the '90s were everywhere — the good, the bad, and the tie-dye. And we're still confused about how we're seeing the fashion of the early oughts come back. So we decided to put our collective side eyes to good work and took a look at the upcoming trends of 2020 that already has us calling the ghost of Joan Rivers.
We found some of the worst, weirdest trends that are on track to dominate in 2020 and while it might be hard to believe that dad shoes or teeny-tiny purses are going to be cool in the new year, unfortunately, we're pulling a George Washington — we cannot tell a lie. So take a look at 20 trends slated to steal the runway this year that have us really questioning everything we know about fashion.
Plastic Shoes
Plastic pumps have been trendy for a few years, but instead of the see-through thigh-highs that Kim Kardashian rocked a few years ago, the trend will go more chunky. A good block heel is a godsend for even the most novice of heels wearer, but still this trend seems to only bring to mind sweaty, stinky feet.
One-Leg Catsuits
How? How did this become a trend? We can't think of any occasion where a one-leg catsuit would be appropriate or who this would look good on except a Kardashian or Jenner. We guess this is a great look if only one leg got tan during an afternoon in the sun, but here's hoping that the look isn't here to stay.
Scrunchies
Scrunchies, scrunchies, scrunchies — fun to say and let's face it, fun to wear. These huge hair bobbles are still going to be a fashion focus in 2020 and while we can't say that they look great, they're at least functional, right? Some kids are even wearing their scrunchies as bracelets, which takes things to a whole new cingeworthy level.
Neons
We love a fashion risk. We love a color. But we don't not love a full neon suit — or even a small neon flourish for that matter. We would never judge someone for going full-on with this bright look, but neons are best kept in small doses. A little might read as fun, while a lot might read as full-blown camp counselor.
Dad Shoes
Chunky, clunky sneakers will continue to be trendy this year — although we're not exactly sure why that is. Sure, they probably offer some good arch support, but nothing screams I've got a cellphone clipped to the belt of my straight leg jeans like a pair of dad sneakers. These sneakers are truly atrocious.
Bike Shorts
To be fair, bike shorts are comfy and nothing makes us feel more like Princess Diana out running errands around London like a pair of these spandex shorts. Made popular by the likes of Kim Kardashian, it doesn't seem like the body-conscious trend is going away anytime soon, so it might be a good time to head over to a sporting good store and stock up.
Colored Lenses
A relic from the first reboot of Degrassi — new year, new Paige, anyone? — tinted lenses will be having a big moment in 2020. Do they protect from UV? Are they cute on anyone over the age of 30? Who cares! They might look cute with the right outfit, and hey — we could probably pull out our old pair from middle school.
Padded Headbands
Another relic that we thought would stay behind in the '90s, padded headbands are back, baby! Perhaps the full Hillary-Clinton-during-Bill's-administration look is making a comeback or maybe big hair accessories will be all the rage. All we know is that this look is giving us vintage vibes — and not in a good way.
Teeny-Tiny Purses
We love Lizzo, but she is to blame for putting this silly style on the map. What can we possibly put in these tiny pocketbooks? A penny?! They hold nothing, they can't be slung over a shoulder, or hold a Nintendo Switch. These are not practical for basically anyone, but for moms everywhere the tiny purse trend is a no-go.
Flippy Hair
Big, '60s flippy hair will be back in style this year as much as it hurts us to say it. The look reminds us of curling irons, painful blow-outs, and the movie Now and Then in a bad way. Although we think that there is one demographic who will really embrace the next big hair craze — our moms.
Whale Tails
The perfect look for after school pick-up, no? Whale tails are what we called them in our middle school, but basically the look is comprised of visible thong-age in any capacity. Plus, low-rise jeans are back in style, which means it easier now that ever to have a Manny Santos moment. Pull those panties up high ladies!
Fanny Pack
We're sorry but fanny packs just scream I'm a mom at a theme park! Not that that's a bad thing, but we hardly feel like fanny packs are the most stylish way to lug around an iPhone and keys. There is hope for people who are devoted to the look, slinging your pack across the shoulder makes it look a little more Matrix and a little less mommy.
Prairie Dresses
Yeeee-haw!!! Instead of a look pulled from the '90s, these dresses come from the 1890s. Who knew that this Laura Ingalls Wilder look would be everywhere this season? But from Booksmart star Beanie Feldstein to SNL and Shrill star Aidy Bryant, these big puffy, prairie dresses are the hottest thing in Hollywood.
Bucket Hats
Another Normcore fashion trend that has spread worldwide, bucket hats are the headwear equivalent of wearing a rolling backpack. Not cool. But they do protect us from the sun, which is a nice bonus and while we wouldn't want to sport the caps ourselves, they are still a good bet for kiddos.
Snockers
Not quite a sneaker, not quite a sock — snockers are terrible. Why?! Why to any part of these shoes! Why no laces? Why does it look like a worse version of something Marty McFly Jr. would wear in Back to the Future? We just — these are bad OK? Between those shoes and dad sneakers, we hope that by 2021 sneakers will get a whole new re-brand.
Square Toe Heels
Who doesn't love the sleek, elegant lines a heel that comes to an end with a square toe? Square toe heels are only good for one thing; preventing hammer toes. Yep, the best part about a square toe heel is that toes can actually breathe and stretch. Just don't ask us to wear a pair for our Instagram grid –these shoes are meant for Stories only.
Tie-Dye
We don't mind this look actually. Tie-dye has its charm. It reminds us of days at summer camp and making friendship bracelets. Or for those of us more musically oriented, it reminds us of the Grateful Dead. But we have a feeling that by next summer tie-dye will be over so enjoy those colorful tees now and thank us later.
Half & Half
The half and half trend basically means mixing two big blocks of color on a garment — or in the case of these shoes, one color per shoe. We guess this is good for people who are indecisive or who want some more options. But we feel like this will work on the runway or in fashion magazines and won't translate well for us normals.
Bell Bottoms
We admit that we did want a change up from our normal skinny jeans, but bell bottoms were not exactly what we were dreaming of. Style trends from the '70s will be making a comeback this year, which means that bell bottoms will only the be the start of all sorts of puka shells and (God forbid) leisure suits that are bound to be returning with them.
Crochet
A look for the woman who is still obsessed with Stevie Nicks, head-to-toe crochet or big crochet statement pieces will be all the rage for 2020. When done right, crochet can look chic, but when it's bad, it's really, really bad. Like blanket on Nana's old sofa bad. So for those of us who are brave enough to give it a swing, just keep that in mind.
