Kid-free weddings seem to be becoming a pretty popular option for brides and grooms. Even if the children are relatives, not every couple wants kids running around at their ceremony or even their reception. This is certainly a personal choice that adults need to respect. But who has to break the news?
A man posted in Reddit’s AITA forum that he upset his best friend telling her that her feral kids can’t attend a wedding. But here’s the kicker: He’s not the groom. Now, he wonders if he made a mistake.
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The original poster and his bestie are like family.
He explained that his mom and his best friend Sarah’s mom were best friends first. Then, her uncle and his aunt had a baby together, so they share a cousin, Claire. Even though OP and Sarah aren’t technically related, they grew up very close. Claire and her wife are planning a wedding, and Sarah thought she’d bring her kids. Claire thought it was OK, but her wife seemed to want a kid-free wedding.
“A few nights ago when it was brought up I said that her kids are always screaming and running around causing mayhem and are far too feral for a reception and as a suggestion say that they come to the after party if Claire wanted them there,” OP wrote. “i did mention that they were always loud and hyperactive. Always running around and wrecking things.”
Sarah did not like what OP had to say.
Even though he thought Sarah would get it, he apparently ticked her off. Things got ugly fast.
“She went off on me and told me she can control her kids and as they aren’t even related to me i shouldn’t get a say. I was hurt about this seeming as I’ve always been their guncle (gay uncle),” he wrote. “Now she’s not even speaking to me and Claire is scared this will ruin her wedding as me and Sarah are both man and maid of honour. So AITAH?”
Plenty of people thought OP did the right thing.
Many Redditors like the idea of kid-free weddings.
That includes this person who wrote, “Sooo she can control them but has chosen not to the other times you saw them being destructive? Yeah right. NTA.”
“NTA. Truth hurts. If she doesn’t want people to comment on her kids’ behavior, she should teach them how to behave at events,” another Redditor agreed.
Another commenter described a personal experience. “NTA. I absolutely hate being around feral bratty kids. My sister raised a feral child, he was a demon on two feet,” the person wrote. “Nobody and I mean nobody wanted the demon child around [t]hem and my sister always got butt hurt and lashed out at anyone that would call her out on the spawn of feral satan that she birthed.”
But some commenters thought OP crossed a line.
This person felt like OP handled this the wrong way; iIt wasn’t his job to make the wedding kid-free. “The problem here is your wording/language. I know some people wear ‘I tell it like it is’ as a badge of honour, but it’s not always appropriate in every circumstance and can show a real lack of maturity,” the commenter wrote. “I don’t disagree with what you were trying to do, but the way you went about it, YTA.”
Plenty of people agreed, such as this person who wrote, “YTA for how you worded it. She may be your best friend but criticising her children’s behaviour indirectly criticises her as a parent. She may be the best mother in the world with endlessly fussy kids or she may be a lazy mother who gives her kids what they want for an easy life. They have energy to burn regardless, hence the running and screaming, and need more structured activities.”
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Perhaps OP should have left this up to the brides.
This person made a good point. If Claire and her wife want a kid-free wedding, they need to talk to Sarah, not OP.
“Just because something is true doesn’t mean it needs to be said. And just because something is true doesn’t mean it needs to be said by you. This is between Claire, her wife, and Sarah,” the person commented. “Claire and her wife didn’t ask for you to get involved and Sarah didn’t ask you why her children might not be invited. You shouldn’t get a say because it’s not your wedding and no one asked you to speak on their behalf.”
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