When your partner surprises you with a proposal, it can be overwhelming. So much emotion goes along with someone telling you that you are the person they want to spend the rest of their life with and build forever together. It can be extremely exciting and a bit scary. All of those emotions are natural.
A surprise proposal is one thing. But can you imagine thinking you are going out to dinner and your boyfriend surprises you with a whole darn wedding? No, not a quick trip to the courthouse at lunchtime. We are talking about a venue and guests that were in on it the whole time, and you didn't know a thing.
A Redditor was blindsided by her man with an impromptu marriage ceremony, and instead of saying, "I do," she was all, "I most certainly don't" and walked. She went to the AITA forum asking if she overreacted.
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She planned to marry the guy.
The original poster, 30, and Mark, 32, have been together for a long time, and she definitely wanted to marry him. But when he took her out for a supposed "fancy party," she thought it was just a date night. Despite their five-year relationship, she said there were no immediate plans for a wedding. As a matter of fact, when she walked into the venue dressed to the nines and saw everyone erupt into applause, she was shocked.
"Mark had orchestrated an elaborate surprise wedding for us without my knowledge.
Everyone erupted into applause as I stood there, shocked and overwhelmed. I just felt a mix of emotions. While I love Mark and had dreamed of our future together, the idea of getting married without any prior discussion or consent felt like a breach of trust," she wrote.
She pulled him aside, trying to figure out what was going on.
Yes, she was flattered and excited but told Mark this was not OK. OP wanted to be a part of planning her own wedding. He blew her off and dismissed her feelings, and that was it for OP. She did not go through with the wedding; now, everyone is fighting.
"Now, I find myself at odds with Mark, our families, and even some of our friends who believe I overreacted and spoiled a beautiful moment. However, I firmly believe that a marriage should be a joint decision, with open communication and shared expectations," she explained.
OP doesn't want to break up with Mark — she just wants to be a part of her wedding planning. She said people told her she should've just dealt with it and had a legal ceremony later. But those are people close to the situation. She wanted Reddit's unbiased thoughts.
Some think Mark way overstepped his boundaries.
Weddings are, hopefully, a once-in-a-lifetime event for brides, and they want it to be perfect. Sure, this could've been seen as romantic, but some think Mark was stealing OP's moment.
"Ambush is the word I thought of reading this post. Apparently it wasn't even legal per the update. He told her they could have a court house ceremony in a few days," one Redditor wrote. "She made the right call. They weren't even engaged. I can't believe no one told him this was a stupid idea, and waste of time and money. NTA."
"NTA. I admire you OP — for saying no and not just going along with it. You did the right thing," someone agreed. "Putting someone in a position that makes them feel guilty or embarrassed to say no is not a romantic thing to do at all. It's emotionally manipulative.
"If he is apologetic and wants to plan a wedding together, then you have yourself a great guy," the person continued. "If he gets all weird and/or angry about it, you dodged a bullet. One way or the other, things will work out the way they are supposed to."
But is this even real?
There are parts of this story that seem kind of fishy to Redditors. What about the marriage license? You can't just get that on your own, can you?
"A marriage is a partnership, not an ambush. Also, how was he able to get a marriage license without your presence? NTA," someone asked.
Another person thought the whole story was just made up. "YTA because there's not a chance this is real," the person wrote.
One Redditor thought that was a hot take. "The giveaway is that zero people sided with her. Either all of her friends and family are from some other planet, or it's fake," the comment reads.
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OP needs to follow her heart.
Even though some people swear this is all a big joke, those who believe her think OP needs to stand her ground. Sure, Mark was trying to be loving and romantic, but it's a bold move thinking OP wouldn't want to be a part of her big day. A lot of people feel like she was justified in feeling hurt.
Hopefully, they can work through this and can both have the wedding they dreamed of, on a date they both agree on, and live happily ever after.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
