Relationships go through peaks and valleys, but when things are low, it can really seem like the end. That’s probably why one man wrote into Reddit looking for help after he noticed that things were really off with his fiancée.
"I feel like my fiancée isn’t as into me as she used to be," he wrote.
The 22-year-old original poster explained that he and his 20-year-old fiancée used to be "intimate" all the time.
“We had lots of fun together, and had a good sex life,” he wrote in a since-deleted post on the r/relationships forum.
But now — not so much.
"It feels like she doesn’t even want me near her," he wrote. "She doesn't want to be touched at all."
Not a kiss, not a cuddle, not even a hug.
When the OP tried to ask her about it, “she said that’s just not who she is and that her parents aren’t affectionate either,” he wrote.
“This feels completely out of left field for me,” he continued. “I was always the one to initiate anything either so now it feels-shameful to even try. I don’t understand what’s going on.”
“I don’t know what to do,” he added.
Some people thought the OP needed to investigate.
"Talk to her?" one person suggested. "Ask her to be honest. All the red flags. Prepare yourself for the answer(s) you don't want to hear. Ask her is there someone else? Why has she pushed you away? What has gone wrong with your relationship. Tell her how you feel about her and how she is making you feel."
"I personally don't like to be touched when I'm generally stressed out or depressed," someone else guessed. "It might not have anything to do with you, OP. Maybe ask her if she's feeling like herself and if there is anything you can do to help."
A third person had another theory: "I really hate to say this, but it's very possible she's cheating."
"I mean, it's also very possible that she's going through something medical or emotional that she doesn't want to talk about as well," the commenter continued. "But, in my younger days I was a cheater. I feel like a horrible person for it and I don't do it anymore, but I digress. Usually once I started cheating, intimacy with whoever I was with at the time was just over. I don't want to freak you out, and it could be not that at all. But just keep that as a possibility."
Others thought the writing might be on the wall.
"This is something you two, as soon-to-be married, need to be able to talk about," one commenter advised. "When she says she’s not affectionate, well…you are. This is stuff you two should of figured out or talked about prior to engagement. The fact this never came up is problematic. Either her feelings have changed or the more romantic side of her was just show. I’d be concerned."
"Looks like the honeymoon phase is over and that might be who she is," another person agreed. "You guys may be incompatible. You need to talk it out and if no middle ground can be found DO NOT GET MARRIED. Nobody should be forced to go against their will either…"
Someone else pleaded: "Don’t marry her. It will get worse — not better."
The only way the OP will ever know what's really going on is by asking — and by being prepared to not like the answer.
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