We hear it all the time, sexuality is fluid. It exists on a spectrum and is far more complex than gay and straight. But more than sex, we know that love is limitless. There are an infinite number of expressions of love. While we may know this conceptually, we don’t often see examples of people loving and living outside of the binary.
But one couple, comprised of a gay man and a heterosexual woman, are sharing their unorthodox love on social media.
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Jacob Hoff was attracted to Samantha Greenstone before he ever saw her.
Samantha Greenstone and Jacob Hoff have an unconventional marriage. Their unusual relationship began before the two ever even saw one another. Greenstone and Hoff are both actors. In 2015, they were both auditioning for a stage production of Fiddler on the Roof. While he was waiting for his turn, Hoff heard Greenstone laugh.
“From the lobby, I heard Samantha’s cackle at the end of the song and instantly thought whoever just made that sound is an immaculate human,” he told The New York Times. When she came out of the audition room, he told her “If they don’t give you that part, they are crazy.” Turns out, both of them got parts in the show.
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Greenstone went to a healer to get clarity on her feelings.
From there, the two developed a close friendship. They hung out often during the production and even afterward. Eighteen months after the show ended, Greenstone was wondering how she should handle the feelings she was having for Hoff, her friend. In 2017, she went to an energy healer in San Diego.
“There was a spark,” Greenstone said. “It felt like this magnetism that was so powerful. The energy healer gave me what I needed to talk to him. She said, ‘you two share a spiritual umbilical cord.’”
The description helped her come clear to Hoff about her feelings. Later that day, she texted Hoff, who was in Los Angeles, to ask him if he also had feelings for her, despite him being gay.
Greenstone was the first one to share her feelings.
“I was like, ‘Oh my goodness. I can’t believe she did this,’” Hoff recalled of his reaction to the text. “The answer was yes. But then I was scared. I thought, ‘If I can’t make this work physically, it could ruin everything.’” Hoff texted back, “What do you mean?” Greenstone froze. But then he added, “Of course, I feel more for you.”
Later that year, Hoff came to San Diego to watch Greenstone perform. For the first time, the two spent the night together and became a couple that day. The next year they moved in together. Now, they live in Beverly Hills.
Hoff said the two share a soulful connection.
“I am gay, and as a gay person, you can keep your identity as that even if your relationship doesn’t match that,” Hoff explained. “We have a monogamous relationship. It’s beyond a visual lustful connection. It’s a soulful connection.”
Greenstone echoed the sentiment. “When he looks at me, I feel like the most treasured, attractive, amazing person in the world,” Greenstone said. “I feel the way you feel when you’re 12 years old, and you’re watching a romance story that makes you weak in the knees.”
And to clarify, they say they are not in a “lavender marriage,” one in which a gay partner uses the marriage as a cover for their sexuality.
Hoff said their relationship is on a different level.
Last December, Hoff proposed to Greenstone. They got married in November in Boca Raton, Florida. They had a traditional Jewish ceremony as Hoff recently converted. “I’ve been celebrating the traditions for the last eight years,” he shared. In addition to the Jewish traditions, they also incorporated their shared love of Broadway into the day. Hoff walked down the aisle to to the scream in The Phantom of the Opera, and Ms. Greenstone entered to Dionne Warwick’s “I’ll Never Love This Way Again.”
In an Instagram video before the two officially tied the knot, Hoff said, “”I want to spend the rest of my life with her and that oftentimes transcends just plain old sexuality,” he continued. “We are attracted to each other, we’re intimate but it’s just on a different level. It’s a soulmate connection.”
