The decision to have children isn’t an easy one for some people. The thought of being responsible for another person’s life is daunting. And although the benefits are tremendous, parenthood isn’t for everyone. Of course, there are also millions of people would give anything to have a child after years struggling with infertility. This can be a particularly emotional journey for women whose family members don’t share their desires and struggles.
A woman shared her story in a since-deleted Reddit post in the AITA Relationships forum, wondering if she was in the wrong. Her sister has struggled with infertility for years and recently found herself “out of money and out of usable embryos.”
The original poster has eggs that she chose to freeze when she was younger, just in case she decided to have kids. She hasn’t made that decision yet, but her sister made what she felt was an out-of-pocket request.
OP’s sister called her crying and asked her to give up one of her frozen eggs as if it were a “hand-me-down.” This didn’t sit well with OP, who told her no. She isn’t comfortable being her egg donor, and now her sister and their mother are on her case.
Her sister said the eggs are just “sitting their like leftovers” and accused her of “playing God” and being “selfish.”
“I hate seeing her like this, but also, I didn’t freeze those eggs for her,” OP explained. “I froze them for me, and she’s acting like I stole motherhood from her.”
Now, she feels like a “villain” for denying her sister. So, who’s the jerk? Redditors quickly defended OP and her decision not to donate her eggs to her sister.
“Those are your potential children. She would be giving birth to your child. You didn’t sign up for that,” someone wrote.
Another person agreed that she’s not the a–hole. “your eggs, your choice. And the way they are going around it sounds infuriating,” the person chimed in. “Also, ngl this would be weird. This would be your biological child. How are YOU playing god? She is playing god.”
A mom with experience with IVF gave OP some honest input.
“NTA. I also did 3 rounds of IVF, but I succeeded. However, had I not, I would never even have thought of asking my sisters [if] they could give me an egg, it would just be a weird life long situation knowing that it came from one of them,” she wrote. “You have a right to say no. They’re your eggs.”
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