Lots of brides want the wedding and all of its details to be perfect. Some are a bit more extra about it all than others, though. Still others are just drama hoarders. They want all the drama, all the time, and will take anyone they want down in the process. This could be their soon-to-be spouse, in-laws, or their own sister. These brides are of the "my way or the highway" variety … you know, bridezillas. To say the least, it can be exhausting for those around them.
For example, a man and his wife recently got married, and the bride threw a fit over the groom's mother's hairstyle. It was so out of control that the groom's mother left the wedding altogether. The groom sided with his wife and not his mother, and things went from bad to worse in seconds. He posted in Reddit's AITA forum asking if he chose the wrong side.
The bride didn't like her mother-in-law's hairstyle.
The bride and the groom had a lovely wedding recently, but the groom admitted that the bride was stressed out planning the wedding because she wanted it to be perfect. On the wedding day, she started throwing shots at her MIL because she didn't like her hair.
"The day of she told me she was very upset over my mom's hair," the original poster explained. "So my mom had (I suck at describing but I'll try) her hair half up and half down, and the piece that was in the ponytail had pearls in it, and then some cascading down her hair. She told me she felt it was a bridal hairstyle and that pearls are a traditionally bridal thing. She felt it was inappropriate."
OP didn't quite get it.
OP admitted that he isn't really up on women's hairstyles, but he felt it was important to support his wife. He headed right over to his momma and told her how it would be.
"We confronted my mom and asked her to take it out. She refused and called my wife narcissistic," he wrote. "My wife began to get emotional and I asked what she wanted to do. She said she wanted her to take it out or leave, so I gave my mom that option."
They were taking these pearls seriously.
The MIL stood her ground and would not take down her 'do.
The MIL was not about to take her hair down. She said it was a lot of work to be worn for just an hour. And let's be honest, if she went to a pro, it was probably expensive!
OP and his bride weren't backing down, however, and they told her to either take it down or leave. So guess what happened? Two extra seats at dinner.
"She left with her husband muttering about us, and we got a lot of hate from a lot of people calling us a–holes and selfish, but my wife strongly feels that it was done on purpose," OP continued.
So, who is the jerk in this situation?
Redditors started calling names.
Redditors called it like they saw it. There was clearly a "bridezilla" in the house.
“YTA — bridezilla much? This is ridiculously controlling. Congrats on ruining a relationship over nothing; mom's assessment of your wife as 'narcissistic' is probably correct," one person wrote.
People warned OP that he is setting the tone for his happily ever after.
"YTA and the gauntlet was just thrown down. You will be controlled by your wife and her expecting you to take her side for everything," someone else commented. "The gall of bridezilla to think she can control hair styles of GUESTS at the wedding."
"YTA what tf is wrong with you! How dare you do that yo your mom. She even left quietly without making a scene for YOUR BENEFIT!" another person admonished. "Your wife is a bridezilla for real. But you…. I can't even imagine how your mother must feel. She's been waiting for your wedding day since you were born and you literally threw her away! Wow. Just wow."
This is your mom, dude.
It's never a good idea to disrespect your mom, but embarrassing her and shaming her in public is a pretty low blow.
"I'm also appalled by how little you seem to care about your mom's feelings as well. She missed her son's wedding, which is a big moment for moms," someone commented. "Alienating her by acting like a spoiled brat doesn't exactly scream good relationship with MIL, either. Your wife needs a reality check."
"I can't believe you would do that to your mom. Your wife is awful," another comment reads. "Dude. You threw your mom out OVER HAIR!!!!!! like seriously? I give your marriage two years given her narcissism, need control and insecurities."
"Wonder what else you roll over for with your wife. This is your mom, and if she wanted to wear a pearls on her body, in her hair, on a necklace, etc she should've been able to," someone else agreed. "Your wife was ridiculous and you went along with it instead of taking your mom's side. Not cool."
Some people suggested OP open his eyes.
Redditors wanted OP to realize that this moment doesn't bode well for the future. Men often get a reputation for being abusers, but they aren't the only ones.
"This was a once in a lifetime event. There are no do overs," one reader wrote. "OP torpedoed his relationship with his mom and maybe his family over a hairstyle!!! And maybe, this is exactly what his wife wanted!! Something to think about. After all, controlling abusers aren't all men."
"Your new wife sounds controlling and mean," someone else agreed. "She used you to enable her unreasonable behavior. You will never be able to make this right with your mother who did nothing wrong. YTA."
"You kicked your own mother out of your wedding because she had it done special for the wedding," another person wrote. "You and your wife deserve each other. She's controlling and you're a doormat."
OP, did you really have to ask if you were wrong?
Sorry, OP, but Redditors couldn't believe that you thought this behavior was OK. It is one thing to support your wife, but that has to be in a situation when she is being reasonable. If she's acting like a nasty bully, you need to make better choices.
Your mom missed out on a significant day in her life. Parents look forward to their children's big moments, and you took that from her. Shame on you. Redditors want you to know you probably made a big mistake, and you and your wife were definitely a–holes.
"I would be surprised if your mother wants to have a relationship with you anymore. She didnt deserve to miss your wedding and your wife was a wretch for causing her to miss it. Too bad your wife didn't reveal who she truly was before you married her," one Redditor warned.
