There are few more exciting times in a woman's life than when planning her wedding. Every detail is important, from the dress to the venue to the first dance, and she usually wants it to be perfect. Unfortunately for some brides, however, their family members try to get in the way of their joy and switch the focus to them, which can cause all kinds of turmoil.
A bride is planning her wedding but is worried her sister will ruin the celebration with her trademark antics. She posted in Reddit's AITA forum asking if she was wrong for telling her sister, who uses a wheelchair, that she isn't invited to the ceremony. It isn't because of the wheelchair but because her sister has a tendency to steal attention, and the bride isn't interested in that kind of behavior on her big day.
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The sister had cancer when she was younger.
The original poster explained that her sister, Anna, had cancer when she was 15 but survived. She is now 26, and although healthy, the occasional scare pops up, and when it does, Anna must be rushed to the hospital. OP doesn't always agree with the urgency.
"My issue is that she always makes these announcements that she needs to go to the doctors again at the worst times. At the beginning I thought it was just bad timing but it has happened so many time when I hit a milestone. My graduations, my birthdays, my engagement party. Anytime she makes an announcement she needs to go back to the hospital my whole family with flock to her," she wrote.
Anna pulled a stunt the night that OP announced her wedding plans.
During a dinner party outlining the celebration's details, Anna suddenly needed to go to the ER, and once again, the focus was on her. OP initially invited her sister to the wedding but found out that Anna is now periodically using a wheelchair, and this is complicating things. Anna and their mom told OP that no one else in the family knows and they had no plans of telling anyone because they didn't want to worry them.
"I had enough and told them you need to tell before my wedding. Again a no. I then informed them Anna is not invited. This started a huge argument about how I'm a d— and my point is that I am sick of her stealing the spotlight. That what will happen if she rolls in with a wheelchair," she explained.
Who's the jerk?
This seems to be a pattern.
Redditors think Anna has shown her true colors to OP, and she had the right to make her wedding day about herself and not her sister.
Some think people must know about Anna already. "NTA. If she already knows she sick why not just tell people? Instead she waits till someone else has an event, then she announces it. How often do her events end with an announcement?" one person asked.
Another commenter agreed.
"She is 26, she knows not to announce horrible news during someone's birthday/graduation/engagement. She needs to tell people she is having complications before your wedding. She can't drop that bomb at the wedding," the person wrote.
It seemed Anna was really crying out for attention.
If the family knows about her illness, why the big secret?
"NTA. If you were banning Anna solely for using the wheelchair it would be Y T A. However her refusing to inform any other relatives of this indicates she is doing it to steal your thunder, especially since she's doing this at every family gathering. It's not about the wheelchair itself, it's about her trying to steal the moment," one Redditor wrote.
It wasn't about the wheelchair for some people but Anna's intentions.
"NTA given that the problem actually the attention-grabbing behavior. However, there's no good way to avoid it by uninviting her because it sounds like your family will either bring her anyway and dare you to kick her out or spend the whole time b—-ing about it. I like the suggestion of another poster that you contact the other guests for "accommodation" purposes and deal with the apparent blowback from your family with that," one comment reads.
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If OP wants to keep Anna away, some think she should.
One Redditor said the OP was being an a–hole but that she was justified. And if Anna wanted to be the center of attention, OP could handle that, too.
"YTA. But own that s—. Send out a mass blast to the whole wedding list that your sister isn't doing well again, that you're concerned she might not be able to make the wedding, and even if she can she'll likely be in a wheel chair. But you know she loves you and she wouldn't want her illness to disrupt your special day. And for bonus points, hold a moment of silent prayer for her health during [your] reception speeches. Lean into that s—," someone suggested.
OP took the advice and edited her post, writing, "I'm going to do a mass blast to all my relatives, saying she is in a wheelchair and unsure if she will be able to make it to my wedding, keep my sister in their thoughts and prayers. I'm gettin ahead of this."
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