For most of my life, I struggled to love my body. It started when I was barely a teenager. While other girls wore halter tops and strapless dresses, I always covered up with a cardigan. When we went to the beach, I would watch my friends slip off their clothes effortlessly and walk around with their bikinis while I kept my shorts and T-shirt on.
Looking back at my pictures when I was in my 20s, I barely had any that showed my midriff. And those that did were kept hidden on my computer or phone. I wouldn’t dare post anything on my social media without triple-checking that my stomach was flat and that I didn't have a dot of cellulite.
When I became a mom five years ago, something changed in me. I started to understand my body as I’ve never before. Growing a tiny human in nine months and giving birth was a liberating experience. It made me appreciate what my body can do and taught me to love myself with compassion from the inside out. Now, after two kids, here’s why I’m finally feeling comfortable in my skin.
I’m proud of my uterus.
Before kids, one of the toxic expectations I had was that attractive women are supposed to have flat stomachs. From models and celebrities to influencers, none of them had a single roll on their tummies. I knew their photos were airbrushed, filtered, and Photoshopped but it didn’t matter. I was striving for unrealistic expectations that were only leading me down a path of disappointment and self-hate.
When I got pregnant, I was finally able to understand where my uterus was located and how it functions. Throughout my pregnancies, it stretched from the size of a pear to a watermelon. Then after birth, it slowly shrunk back down. My belly isn’t supposed to be flat because I have a uterus, a miraculous organ that allows me to have kids. Instead of being ashamed of my pooch, I’m proud of my uterus.
I want to be a confident role model for my kids.
Growing up, my mom always hid her tummy because she was embarrassed about her stretch marks and loose skin. She always told us not to wear midriff-baring clothes because she didn’t want us to get cold. She said when we expose our bellies, the cold air will cause us to have stomach aches. But despite her made-up excuses, her insecurities projected onto me and affected my body confidence.
I don’t want to do that to my kids. I want them to wear what they want to wear and feel completely comfortable expressing themselves. And to do that, I need to lead by example and become the role model that I didn’t have when I was their age. I live in a country where I can freely wear what I want to wear and I’m grateful for this privilege.
I take care of myself and I love my body.
I’m not a fitness model. I don’t work out several hours a day nor do I eat only chicken and broccoli, but I do take care of myself. I manage my health with a sensible diet and regular exercise.
I don’t do this because I want my body to look a certain way or to fit into a bikini. I do it because it helps me emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Eating well and being physically active allows me to function optimally. And wearing something that reflects the love I have for my body makes me feel good about my efforts.
I stopped caring about what other people think.
I remember one day when I was at the playground and I wore a top that showed a part of my midriff. I was hanging on the monkey bars with my daughter when a little girl came up to me. She looked at me and pointed at my stomach, “Your belly’s showing.”
Instead of jumping down from the monkey bars and fixing my shirt, I said to her, “Yeah, I know. So?”
She asked, “Don’t you want to cover up?”
I responded, “Nope. It’s too hot.”
Her face changed. Then she looked at her mom, who had been side-eyeing me the whole time, and says, “Yeah, it is hot.”
And that was that. And it is exactly how I intend to live in this body for the rest of my life: unashamed and wholly unbothered.