My Friend Wants Me To Pay To Go to Her Gender Reveal Party & I Think It’s So Rude

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There are plenty of debates about how tacky it may be to even host gender reveal parties. There’s the environmental damage they’ve created, the gender experiences they ignore and even the deaths they’ve caused to think about.

While there’s a new discussion around gender reveals every week, a post on Reddit exposed an entirely different debate about the role guests should play in the event, including a financial one.

The couple requested that guests pay $20 to attend their gender reveal.

A Reddit user shared that she had recently been invited to a gender reveal party by some close friends. She loves the couple and was excited to attend, but she did find one of their requests a bit odd. They asked their guests (about 30 of them) to pay $20 each for the food and drinks that would be provided at the reveal.

The OP thought the request was “in bad taste” but didn’t mind paying it because she wanted to hang out and catch up. Still, she worried that other guests might not take the request so well.

Later, the OP stated that the couple didn't want any gifts.

via GIPHY

Naturally, the inquiry had people scratching their heads and raising their eyebrows. With that initial information the comments came flooding in. The verdict was out: tacky. But then, the OP added more context: The couple did not want any gifts. Later, the OP stated that her friend, the dad-to-be, is American while his partner is Japanese.

Evidently, in Japanese culture, asking guests to contribute to the cost of events is common practice. The event is taking place in Japan, at a venue with catered food. So it only makes sense.

Reddit users said they would have spent more than $20 on a gift.

With that pertinent information, people could understand the request.

“Well considering they want no gifts idk why everyone here is so upset about it lol it was clearly communicated beforehand,” one user wrote. “If you don't like it don't go, but I don't think it makes your friend classless.”

“In lieu of a gift, which I would have usually spent upwards of $20 on anyway, some money to help with the catering cost seems very reasonable,” someone else explained. “They're having a kid, so any financial support they can get feels like it makes sense to me.”

Culture also plays a HUGE part.

Other people made sure to note that the difference in culture is crucial to understanding why the request was made in the first place.

“OP probably should've included that they live on an Army base in Japan in their original post," one Redditor noted. "That one piece of context makes the post make so much more sense."

“If the party is in Japan, where paying is normal, then I have no problem," another poster pointed out. "I don't expect other cultures to bend to what's normal for me.”