Marriage isn’t always easy, and it often takes work to stay together. As much as every couple wants to believe that life will go on like when they were newlyweds forever, that’s just not very realistic. That certainly doesn’t mean a marriage will always go south, but couples have to keep the lines of communication open and always ensure there is love and respect. Sadly, many couples find themselves blindsided by a breakup and wonder what they could have done to keep things fresh.
A woman posted in the Mumsnet relationships forum asking for advice about a situation with her husband. The pair married six years ago but have been together for 12. They have an 8-year-old daughter, and OP thought things were fine. But her husband recently told her he really doesn’t want to be in a romantic relationship with her anymore. He’d like to stay married, living together, and sharing finances and responsibilities, but as far as an intimate relationship is concerned, he’s finished with that.
“I’m so broken, it has genuinely came out of the blue for me, beyond the usually bickers of a long term relationship I genuinely thought we were happy and a great couple and this was the furthest thing from my mind,” OP wrote. “I want to stay as is for the sake of DD but also as practically I can’t even begin to think about how we separate on every other level, and I’ll never beg to stay together however I’m so broken and don’t know what to do.”
She wondered if anyone had been in a similar situation and what advice they could offer for her broken heart.
People in the comment section overwhelmingly agreed that OP needs to move on and not allow her husband to disrespect her.
One wrote, “He wants his cake and to eat it, doesn’t he? He doesn’t get to call the shots here. If he doesn’t want you as his wife/partner, then he leaves. You deserve much better than this.”
“The gall of the man! Telling you he wants you to continue to be a partner to him while he gets to see other people. Why does he think you would want this?!” someone else questioned.
Another comment put things very bluntly: “He’s making you the villain. No sane individual could hear that and go along with it, which he knows. [But] now you’ll be the one to make it hard. Because to him he made a perfectly reasonable offer.”
One person encouraged OP to find her voice and stand up for herself. “Of course he can’t do this!! I mean, seriously, how dare he? Basically, he wants you to go on looking after him while he tries out being single again. I know you’re hurting, but you need to find your anger, lovey xx,” the commenter suggested.
