Is there anything worse than a bad neighbor? You just want your home to be happy and peaceful with no one bothering you. Is that too much to ask? What if there are kids who are a part of the problem? It's a parent's responsibility to ensure that their kids are acting right and not causing trouble. But of course, that's in a perfect world. And we all know nothing is perfect.
One "unhappy neighbor" wanted advice about the neighborhood and a new family on the block. The original poster wrote to Slate's Care and Feeding column to get some unbiased feedback. The new neighbors have a gaggle of young children and employ what OP calls "free-range parenting." OP thinks it has gotten out of control and wants the family to rein it in a stay at their own home. Is that too much to ask?
The neighborhood isn't used to this kind of behavior
OP's new neighbor, Brad, has a bunch of kids, all under 10, who roam the neighborhood with little supervision. Brad is a full-time dad who has become a default day care for all the kids on the block. OP works from home, and the kids are starting to drive him crazy.
"The behavior goes a bit beyond normal kid mischief — loud yelling at all hours of the day and night, incessant doorbell-ringing and dashing, sneaking into neighbors' private yards, and playing in the middle of the street," OP wrote. "Brad is aware of all of this and becomes very hostile and aggressive when confronted."
Because he was a jerk, none of the neighbors want to broach the subject again.
There is one neighbor particularly affected by the kids.
A man named, "Tom," is a bit of a recluse and has severe anxiety. The kids are causing him distress, and OP feels enough is enough.
OP explained, "Tom seems genuinely baffled and frightened by the doorbell-ringing and nighttime yard intrusions, and based on two episodes I witnessed in the last week, the kids seem to think these reactions are hilarious."
Should OP contact Brad on behalf of Tom and risk another blowup, or just let it go and ignore the whole thing?
Slate gave some advice.
First, Care and Feeding feels like OP should address Brad again, but try a different approach because maybe he legitimately doesn't get it.
"He may not understand that the kids' behavior is terrifying your older neighbor and that it's cruel and insensitive," Care and Feeding explained. "(And the kids may not be old enough to understand it, so Brad and their parents will need to intervene.) Instead of suggesting that his failure to supervise the kids is a problem, frame it as a neighborhood issue where the kids don't understand the ramifications of what they're doing, and it's everyone's responsibility to address it."
It was also suggested that OP get in touch with the other kids' parents to handle the situation in their own homes.
The comments section did not agree with the free-range parenting notion.
People don't think that Brad is free-range parenting. They think he is lazy and checked out.
"What you are calling 'free range parenting' is not free range parenting," someone wrote. "It's neglect. Free range kids have rules and expectations for behavior to meet, or they lose their privileges. The neighborhood free babysitter is not responsible for rearing everyone's children. That's their parent's job. As for torturing the timid, you should be making the rounds with videos to show the brat's parents what their kid are doing. And if the kids don't stop, call the police every time they repeat the behavior."
"I like the call the authorities on the illegal day care" a commenter agreed. "And I like call the cops to alert them to problems in the neighborhood, especially to the one guy, Tom who is in pain. To let him know that he can call for help!"
"I'm just calling shenanigans on the free range letter," another person agreed. "There is no indication this guy is providing anything one would call childcare to other children. And kids are out late at night has a very obvious answer. If you know a child 10 years or younger is out late at night on a regular basis you should call the freaking cops or child protective services for child neglect."
It's time to address it yourself or maybe go to someone with more authority.
The general consensus is that Brad is not actually parenting, he is letting the kids control him. People feel there is is no direction from an adult for these children. But it isn't just his fault. The parents leaving their kids in his supposed care need to clean up their acts, too. If these people can't get it under control, call their bluff and get the police involved. They're likely to change their tune real quickly.
