My Husband & I Don’t Have a Joint Savings Account & We Don’t Plan On It … Ever

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Recently, I was complaining to my coworker about how I hadn’t turned on the heat in my home office even though I’m freezing. I explained that between my husband and me, I’m the one who pays the electric bill. I’ll wait until the three layers of clothing and wool socks don’t keep me warm before dialling up the thermostat.

Then she asks, “Ah interesting. How come you pay for heat? What does he pay for? Don’t you have a joint account for those shared expenses?”

I respond, “He pays for strata and I pay for electricity. He pays for home insurance and I pay the internet bill. We split the mortgage. We calculated it’s about the same at the end of the year. Nope, no joint account. My money is mine and his money is his. We divide up what we pay for and we use our own money to pay for it.”

She’s curious, asking, “But wouldn’t a joint account make it easier?”

Here’s what I told her.

For one, it is much easier.

First of all, how much should each of us put in? Is it based on our income?

He owns a business, and how much he earns fluctuates throughout the year and between the years.

Is it fair I put more in during the months I make more than him?

Should he put less in when he’s making less?

How much should each of us take out?

What is qualified as a shared expense?

Is a new lawnmower a shared expense? Is the special shampoo I use a shared expense because it’s available in the bathroom for everyone to use?

What happens when we both need to pay our bills and we overdraw?

I’m sure joint accounts work for a lot of families and these questions may seem like no-brainers; however, for us, it makes things unnecessarily complicated.

It’s based on trust and honest communication.

When we first started dating, money was something that came up immediately. We both had our past financial issues, and we knew we wanted to be on the same page about it before getting hitched.

We laid our financial history on the table and were completely transparent with one another. From bills, current debt, loans, spending styles, saving habits, investing experience to retirement plans, we talked about it all. For lack of better words, he showed me his and I showed him mine.

Then we got married and we kept that conversation going. Although we created shared financial goals, our money stayed in separate accounts. I know money can be a contentious topic for some people, but in our household, we’re not afraid to talk about it. Every week, we have healthy debates about financial management.

As for kid expenses, we take turns paying for their lessons, clothes, toys, and so forth. It comes down to who values what more. I don’t care about new clothes or toys as much as he does, so he takes care of that. I want to invest in my children’s learning and education, so I typically pay for the extracurricular activities.

It gives us autonomy and freedom.

I don’t micromanage what he buys, and he doesn’t keep tabs on what I’m spending on. We don’t expect to ask for permission or approval from the other about every single purchase.

However, it doesn’t mean we’re not accountable to each other. I trust that he won’t spend a fortune on sports cards, and he trusts that I’m not blowing my paychecks on cosmetics. And having frank conversations regularly allows this trust to flourish. We make decisions about big purchases together such as a new home, car, renovations, or household appliances.

I’ve always been a good saver, but I started investing seriously more than five years ago. I like seeing my own money in my bank account grow, and it gives me a sense of pride and achievement knowing I am working on my retirement plans. It also enables me to increase my financial literacy and empowers me to take control of my financial goals.

Also, having a little friendly competition with my husband to see whose portfolio performs better is a win-win.

And lastly, It can be messy to separate joint accounts. (I’ve had to in the past.)

I actually had a joint account in a previous relationship. And let me tell you, it was difficult to sort out how much each of us was entitled to. Near the end of our relationship, my ex took out money to pay off his personal debts. The break-up in itself was difficult, and having to split up the joint account added more stress than necessary.

I never ended up getting my money back, but I lived and I learned. No joint accounts for me.