The world that we live in is an interesting one, no doubt. For instance, I once read a poll (of 3,000 millennials) that said that almost 70% of individuals are intentional about having sex on Valentineās Day which is basically double the amount of folks who prioritize it on their own wedding night (Wild, right? By the way, the word āconsummateā means to complete, so you are completing your nuptials by having sex on your wedding day/night).
Even with all of this on record, itās not like it doesnāt make sense that couples would want to get it in on Cupidās special day. After all, sex is fun, itās pleasurable, and you donāt have to spend any cash in order to experience it.
This year, though, letās raise the bar. Instead of just having some routine traditional intimacy to say that we did, letās incorporate a few ideas that can (hopefully) help us all to have some of the best sex ever (especially for a love-themed holiday)!
Engage in Morning Sex (Even If Itās Just a Quickie)
Whenever people (in long-term relationships) try to convince me that they donāt have time for sex, all I do is roll my eyes. The reality will never change that we make time for what is important to us ā and sex is not exempt here. Especially when you stop to consider the fact that sex is a powerful way to stay connected to your partner while giving you a myriad of health benefits (like lowering stress and blood pressure levels, putting you in a better mood, making you more productive, etc.) in the process. If itās that good for you, why wouldnāt you prioritize it?
So, since Valentineās Day falls on a weekday this year (a Tuesday), why not start the day off right with some morning sex? No one is saying that itās got to be a '90s R&B throwback song session (you know, all night long ā¦ LOL) ā a quickie is more than just fine. Or at least engage in some oral sex or foreplay edging where you stimulate each other to the point of climaxing and then stop.
The purpose of edging activities? Youāll be amped and ready for lots of intimacy once your work day is over and itās time to be with your boo. Edging also increases the chances of you not just having an orgasm but more than one. Yeah, edging is stellar.
Agree To Exchange a Nostalgia-Related V-Day Gift
It might come as a surprise to you that something that creates a dopamine hit is taking a walk down memory lane (so long as the memories are good). This is great to know because dopamine is a neurotransmitter that helps you to feel good.
So, if youāre wondering what kind of gift you and your partner should exchange this year, how about something that reminds you both of a favorite experience that you shared together? And since weāre talking about all-things-sexy in this article ā why not a favorite sexual memory? It can be purchased or made by hand. Pretty sure you both will appreciate it either way.
DIY Some Edible Massage Oil or Edible Body Paint
Some of the best pressure points for sexual stimulation include the head, the feet, and right where the pelvis and hips connect. That said, I donāt know anyone who isnāt down for a massage after a long, hard day, so why not surprise your partner with one? You can take it up a notch by making your own edible massage oil ā and since weāre all grown here, Iām sure I donāt have to expound on what you can do with that. Anyway, there are some quick and easy recipes that you can check out. Or, if youād prefer to purchase some, Amazon has all kinds of options to choose from.
Speaking of making something tasty, another option is to make your own edible body paint. Honestly, if you combine some instant pudding, food coloring, and milk (or a milk alternative) together, youāll be all set. Will things come out a bit sticky? Yes. But itās Valentineās Day; do each other a solid and wash each other off. #wink
Invest in a Sex Pillow
Anyone who doesnāt have a sex pillow in their possession is doing themselves, their partner, and their sex life a serious disservice. It makes getting into certain positions easier on the body. It makes oral sex more comfortable for both the giver as well as the receiver. It also sets you up for receiving deeper penetration, which can increase your chances of experiencing a vaginal orgasm (yay!).
Although you could just stack a couple of pillows that you already have up under the lower part of your back, sex pillows are firmer. Plus, theyāre specifically designed to fit your body and take some pressure off of your joints. If this is an investment that youād like to make, Allure has a list of some great sex pillow options and Self compiled its own list.
Turn Household Items Into Impromptu Sex Toys
If you and your partner havenāt brought sex toys into your bedroom (yet), thereās no time like the present to start. And hereās the thing ā you donāt even have to spend any money on āem because thereās a pretty good chance that youāve got some household items that are just ready and willing to help you out.
- Neckties and stockings are ideal for tying each other up.
- Scarves are the perfect blindfolds.
- Ice cubes create a surprisingly erotic level of stimulation.
- Candle wax does in the heat department what ice cubes do in the cooling one.
- You can always playfully spank with a wooden spoon.
- When you bring a feather duster into the mix, the light tickling can be a stimulating experience.
- Minty mouthwash will make you tingle like nothing else during oral sex.
- Paper clips on the nipples are makeshift nipple clamps.
- Shower curtains are ideal to put on the bed or floor if youāre going to do that body painting that I mentioned earlier (so that your bedding doesnāt get messed up).
- An exercise ball will take positions like the missionary and doggy style to a whole ānother level.
Play the 'Thatās What I Like' Game
If you spend more than even a couple of minutes on social media, youāve probably seen the game where someone pulls a card from a set of cards that their partner is holding to see what they will be doing while on a date, etc. Well, for Valentineās Day, do it with a twist.
Have you and your partner jot down things that you each like, sexually, in different categories based on your five senses ā sight, hearing, touch, smell, and taste. Then, each of you pull a card from each one. After you do, do what the card says. Something this simple could help to cultivate a super sensual night. #wink
Order In. Hereās Why.
Even though cooking with your partner is a wonderful way to get some (probably) much-needed quality time in, because my goal is to get the two of you to have some mind-blowing sex, how about skipping it this Valentineās Day? Budget ahead of time to order your favorite foods to be delivered. It will give fuel to the fire without you being exhausted from spending so much time in the kitchen.
Oh, and if you like chocolate, order some dessert too. Dark chocolate is also an aphrodisiac ā so enjoy it without feeling one bit of guilt.
Drink a Honey-Infused Cocktail
Iāve said before that Iām big on people toasting themselves whether theyāre in a relationship or not. Personally, I try and do it at the end of each day. Itās a way to remind myself that every day is just as rare as I am which means that something unique happened that I should not only acknowledge but celebrate.
A lot of couples didnāt make it to this Valentineās Day (meaning, they broke up). The fact that you and your boo did is definitely something to applaud. So, click some glass flutes together while verbally affirming the relationship as well as each other. Red wine is always a great idea because it contains properties that are considered to be an aphrodisiac.
But red wine is so predictable. This year, why not try something a bit different? Like maybe a honey-infused cocktail. Drinks like a beeās knees cocktail, tequila honey bee, honey mojitos, gold rush cocktail, and (pardon the pun) wicked behavior are all delicious drinks that have honey as a main ingredient.
And why is honey a great V-Day treat? Itās also considered to be a solid sex motivator because it provides an energy boost, increases stamina, and the boron in it can level out estrogen levels too (who knew, right?).
So, what if alcohol isnāt your thing or you donāt want to get tipsy (or is it low-key drunk) on a weeknight? No problem. There are also mocktails that contain honey like honey blackberry mint mocktails, lemon honey spritz mocktail, and the peach mocktail.
Try Some New Positions
Weāve all heard the saying, āIf it aināt broke, donāt fix itā before, but when it comes to bedroom activities, if youāre not careful, that can put you in a serious sex rut. In other words, just because, oh say reverse cowgirl has been working for you all this time, that doesnāt mean that you shouldnāt be intentional about exploring other positions that youāve probably never tried before.
Although it seems like no one is able to actually come to an agreement about how many sexual positions there are, I found a list of 100 (with animated illustrations). Why not use Valentineās Day to try out a couple of them? Then use a couple of times each following month (because hopefully youāre getting it in at least once a week) to ātest outā a few more?
Book a Room
It probably doesnāt make a ton of sense to go to a hotel on a Tuesday night (unless youāre going to take off work the following day, which isnāt necessarily a bad idea). But whether itās the weekend before V-Day or the one that follows, try and book a hotel reservation somewhere. It provides a change of scenery. Hotel beds are top-tier. And you donāt have to do any cleaning up after whatever ādamageā the two of you engage in is done. Plus, it gives both of you something to look forward to past Valentineās Day ā a quick sexcation. And how could you not be excited to experience that?
Happy Valentineās Day, yāall!
Shellie R. Warren is a marriage life coach, doula, and the author of Inside of Me: Lessons of Lust, Love and Redemption.
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