Everyone will have an opinion on what you name your baby, no matter how much time you take to pick out the "perfect" one. But when it's your mother-in-law who is insistent that you picked the wrong name, that's when things can get ugly — especially if she's determined to change your little one's name to something else. That's the problem one mom was having after her MIL told her that her baby's name was "doomed" using numerology and that she needed to switch it — or else.
The new mom explained that she knew her MIL was both pushy and particular about names before she got married, but things have gotten out of hand.
As she explained in a post on Reddit, the anonymous mom's MIL is controlling — to the point that she already changed her nickname based on "a(n) old traditional calculation" after she married her son.
"She said based on her calculation, my faith is doomed," the woman wrote. "So for example if my name is Isabella and I have been called Bella for 27 years, she calls me Issa and told all of her family my name is Issa. So even now, my husband’s cousin didn’t know that everyone calls me 'Bella.'"
Of course, things became even more tricky once the writer got pregnant. "We told the family a name that we chose for our baby girl, lets just say 'A,'" she explained. "While all of the other family members were excited, she asked if we wanted to calculate her name to see the result."
The parents-to-be told her that they were perfectly happy with the name they had already picked out and did not want to involve her numerology. "But she went ahead and did it. "
"Sure enough, she told us not to name our daughter 'A' because she’ll be set to doomed just like my name," she added.
That is when her MIL started to push for a different name, "B," that wouldn't be "doomed" like her mother's.
Instead of the name that the writer and her husband picked out, the MIL told them to name her future daughter a name that she liked. "She didn’t gave up," the mom wrote. "It came up almost every time we videochat. I ended up refuse to join the chat for a while … She kept sending my husband articles about the name ‘B’ and how great it sounds. She told my husband not to tell me about this."
Her MIL even tried to get the parents to use the name as a baptismal name after they refused to budge. "In an effort to shut her up, my husband told his mom we’ll think about it," they mom continued. "But apparently from her next actions she took it as a yes."
Her MIL took things to a whole new level when she came to visit before the birth and demanded that she be in the delivery room to "bless my daughter as soon as she’s out of my womb," the poster wrote. "We refused."
But her MIL was undeterred.
Once the baby was born, her MIL told their entire family that the daughter's name was the one she liked.
Before the mom could share her daughter's new name, her MIL told everyone that her name would be "BA" — or in other words, the name the MIL wanted for her baptism followed by the name the writer wanted that would be put on the birth certificate.
"Why is she so obsessed with the name 'B'? She has two sons and a daughter, if she likes that name so much, she should have named her daughter that!" the mom wrote.
Some people thought the mom needed to tell her MIL to step off.
One person advised that the mom take control of the situation ASAP.
"In the family group chat, YOU need to say 'I just noticed that Daughter's names was announced as B A. I'm sorry for the confusion everyone. Husband and I made it very clear to mother in law that it is only going to be A, her baptism name will not be B. We are both not fond of B. MIL, were you confused about this still? I'm sorry if you were. I thought we made it very clear,'" the person commented. "And then add a smiley face. It's polite and direct. It's open, in front of the whole family. Someone in the family may even tease that MIL gets confused with names, and bring up your name thing."
And someone else wrote that her husband should also step in.
"Don’t be afraid to upset her, because she’s doing a good job of upsetting you. Can [Dear Husband] message the group chat and say ‘my wife’s name is Bella, not the made up name my mother wanted. We have humored her obsession with numerology for long enough. Our daughter is named A, not BA and definitely not B. This obsession my mother has interjecting herself in my life stops now. If my loving family want to carry on with my mothers obsession, that is your prerogative, my wife and I will not, and we will cease contact immediately,'" the user commented.
"Like on what planet is it ok for anyone to 'rename' a grown woman and how she wasn’t immediately smacked down in the group chat is beyond me!" another person wrote. "There is no way that MIL should be allowed to continue on with controlling this type of stuff! Controlling certain things is ok some times but the name of yourself and your child?! No."
Others just take issue with how much importance her MIL places in numerology.
"I'm Catholic and I just can't understand this woman's obsession with names," one person commented. "What names are doomed? Quite frankly, I think it's a good thing that you're waiting/not doing it with her attitude to your child and you. It's not healthy."
"What I find interesting is her obsession with both the baptism and what seems to be numerology," another person added. "In most cases, Catholicism does not approve of things like card reading, zodiac, numerology, fortune telling, etc., it is viewed as something from the devil."
But one person said it best: "It’s all fun and games until someone is doomed."
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