If there is one combination that is always deadly, it's poopy diaper + curious dog. Trust us. Or take it from one poor dad on Reddit, who was right in the middle taking care of his son's huge blowout diaper when he looked away for a second and his dog finished the job for him. Yes — it's as gross as it sounds.
While his wife was busy with their 3-year-old, the husband was on "daddy duty with the new addition."
Aka, his infant son.
"While I was holding him, cute little guy took a massive, blowout poop that escaped his diaper and ran up the back of his onesie. So much so that it seeped through to my shirt and arm," he shared on the Today I F—ed Up forum.
No worries. This is a real "hands-on" dad that we're talking about.
He threw the changing mat down on the floor and put his son down while he got situated.
"I got his onesie up over his head without smearing green poop everywhere and then opened up the diaper," he wrote. "Needless to say, he was covered front and back."
He grabbed a wipe and started cleaning his son.
He got his "butt and back" first before he " laid him back down to tackle his feces-covered crotch."
"Through all of this, our 8-year-old Golden-mix was nearby, just laying in his usual spot in front of the couch — no big deal," he wrote.
As he was about to go in for the final swipes, he realized he didn't have a new diaper at the ready.
Usually, they keep a supply of wipes in a basket close by, but they were "fresh out." As a result, he "jumped up and ran to the hallway closet to raid the diaper bag."
"I was gone maybe 10-15 seconds," he added.
When he got back, he realized "there wasn't any poop on his little schmeckle or pebbles."
Yup, his son was clean as a whistle — and that's not a good thing.
"It took me about five seconds to realize what had happened — the dog had licked him clean."
"In a slow horror, I turned and looked at the dog," he continued. "Mouth smacking, the dog just looked right back, like. nothing. happened. I was initially grossed out, but then realized he was just doing his part for the war effort."
Apparently, this wasn't the first dog to do "his part of the war effort," as commenters shared their stories.
"When my son just started walking, we used to let him walk around naked. We were in the backyard when he let loose a foot long steamer right on the grass," one person shared. "So I went to grab the shovel quickly when my husky mix hurried over and immediately choked it down like a python swallowing a deer. I let out a yell of disgust all the neighbors could hear."
"I grew up with Golden Retrievers. Those dogs will eat anything," another commenter wrote. "My last one ate an aluminum can and pooped it out. Stomach of iron. Lived a full 15 years too."
"I seriously hope you had a nice dog house in the yard, because that's going to be bad breath for a while," someone else joked.
Pro tip: Next time your baby has a blowout, don't leave the baby alone with your trusty pup unless you'd like some "help" with cleanup duty.
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