One of the great things about kids is how they can make friends practically anywhere. And one of the best things about the park? It’s almost a guarantee kids will make a friend or find another kid to play with each and every time you go. Well, one mom took to TikTok to share how her daughter made a new friend at the park — a friend who happened to be having a birthday party — but after a little while, another parent ruined everything.
Her daughter joined in singing "Happy Birthday," presumably having been playing with the birthday kid for a while beforehand. But when it was time for cake, her daughter encountered a birthday cake "Karen" who told her daughter she couldn't have any, because it was not her party nor her friend's.
The mom reached out to fellow TikTok users asking if she was acting "entitled" for being upset or if it was actually "messed up." Her video has received over 9 million views and nearly 50,000 comments with many agreeing the other parents' reaction to her daughter was not OK.
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‘I’m gonna mom shame, the only people I’ve mom shamed are myself and my mother, but one other mom is gonna be added to the list’ the mom says.
The mom starts her video saying she typically doesn’t "mom shame," but this was clearly a special exception to that rule. Kat says: “This is a question, am I entitled? Or was this messed up?” She begins to explain what went down. “Two hours ago, literally right now MK and I were at the park in my neighborhood. It was literally just us and this birthday group."
She adds that her daughter was playing with them for at least a half hour. She says, “They're making friends. It was nice, it was actually very cute. Time to sing happy birthday.” But what came next was unexpected and infuriating.
‘They’re welcoming her with open arms, or so I thought,’ the mom says.
Kat continues to explain what happened after the kids — her daughter included — started singing "Happy Birthday." “She’s one of the group right now alright. They’re welcoming her with open arms or so I thought,” she says. “I was wrong, time to eat cake. I see MK, I see her intention of eating cake. I walk over to make sure it’s OK as a formality,” she explains.
“Honestly, I thought obviously it’s OK. It’s cake. There’s a massive cake. There’s lots of leftover pieces,” she notes. But, evidently, that was not the case.
“The mother takes the plate away from MK. Get’s down on her level and says ‘You cannot eat this cake OK. This is not your birthday party. These are not your friends. Where’s your mother?’” Kat says, visibly angry, putting her hands over her mouth.
MK’s mom had every right to be upset with a stranger rudely and unnecessarily speaking to her daughter like that.
Psychology Today notes that when someone says or does something hurtful, it can trigger feelings of being helpless or powerless. If possible, it helps to have prepared responses for these kinds of situations.
Dr. Deborah Roth Ledley recommends responses like: “Sorry they're bugging you. We were all kids once, right?” or even “I’ve got it thanks,” per Chicago Tribune. Another way to address the situation is to discuss it with your children later, acknowledging what was said but also that as parents you are ultimately the ones with the last say when it concerns your kids.
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Fellow TikTok users agreed the other parent could have chosen a better way to talk to MK.
Fellow TikTok users agreed the other mom could have handled this in a much more appropriate way. There’s normally plenty of birthday cake to go around and even if there wasn’t, there were certainly better ways to handle the situation that aren’t so cruel, especially to a child your kid has been enjoying playing with. Being kind to all kids should just be a no-brainer. Some parents pointed out that throwing a party at a public park means you should bring extra cake.
One user wrote: "Public park means you better be prepared for extra! Like how dare she even speak to her like that."
“The part that gets me is the 'these are not your friends,'" wrote one commenter. "They’ve been playing for a half an hour. To kids, that’s friendship.”
"These aren’t your friends ," wrote another. "Who says that to a child?! We can allllll be friends! I would make sure it was okay w you first, but I’d absolutely."
Others pointed out that they would check with the other parent first.
“If ANYTHING I would just check with you to make sure she's okay to have a piece," one user wrote. "That's insane that she took it back.”
Another commented that they’d be happy to share: “I can’t believe a parent would treat a child like that regardless! I’d be super happy to share cake with a new friend my kid has made.”
