Not all family traditions are things that need to continue. Sometimes they’re awkward, or other times they’re just silly. When you form a new family, it’s easy to want to find ways to make the new unit its own. And although sometimes both parents will incorporate traditions from their families of origin into their new one, they don’t always do that.
One mom is taking a firm stand against her husband’s family tradition of the birthday cake smash, but she’s not so sure her husband is going to adhere to her rule.
The parents are gearing up to celebrate their son’s first birthday.
Days ahead of the party, the concerned mom asked for advice on Reddit. She explained that her husband is “really adamant” about smashing their baby’s face into his birthday cake.
“I am super against this because for one the baby may laugh but he might also cry,” the mom wrote. “Also, It’s his birthday and we shouldn’t be doing anything that he may not enjoy. He’s pretty sensitive (as babies are) and I don’t want him to start crying on his birthday.”
But her husband, who is Mexican, claims the birthday cake smash is a family tradition. That’s interesting, because the woman wrote that her husband said “he ALWAYS hated it as a kid and it made him angry.”
She understands the importance of tradition, but does it have to be this one?
The mom has nothing against family tradition, but she also can’t wrap her mind around possibly upsetting her baby on purpose. What’s more, she is conflicted because “this is part of his family’s tradition on his father’s side.”
“I told him if he does do it, I will be angry and that he needs to tell his family that they aren’t allowed to do it themselves either,” the mom shared in her post. “I heard him talking about buying two cakes (a small one for just the baby) and I don’t understand why we would do that unless he was going to try.”
The mom found out she’s not the only one who is against the birthday cake smash tradition.
Commenters overwhelmingly agreed with the mom, with some going so far as to say if he did smash the baby’s face into the cake, she should divorce him.
“You’re not being a jerk. That’s a garbage tradition,” one person wrote. “Tell him that a tradition that he himself hated, that does nothing but hurt and embarrass his child is a tradition that should be left in the past.”
“A baby can’t decide for themself whether or not they’re okay with getting shoved into a cake, and it’s also quite dangerous for a baby. The cake could obstruct his airways, you could damage his neck, or break his nose even. Babies are fragile,” another commenter pointed out.
“Make him explain to you why he wants to continue a ‘tradition’ that he has admitted that he hated growing up,” someone else added. “He is telling you he won’t respect his son’s body autonomy when he gets old and will bully him just like he was bullied growing up.”
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