There is a societal stigma that many moms who are stay-at-home parents have it rather easy because they don't have to "go into work" every day. People often forget that raising kids 24/7 is a full time, exhausting, and sometimes thankless job. Not everyone, however, sees things clearly or from other perspectives.
Recently, a husband opened up on Reddit about his feelings toward his wife, who happens to be a say-at-home mom. After sharing the idea that she has it "so much easier" than he does, people online were quick to note that he was totally in the wrong.
The husband shared that he and his wife have four kids together.
The kids' ages are 5, 4, 2, and 8 months. The 5- and 4-year-olds are both in school full time, so his wife is home with the 2-year-old and 8-month-old every day, he wrote in his since-deleted post to Reddit's AITA forum.
He shared that his wife claims that her job as a stay-at-home parent is "incredibly hard" and that she is constantly exhausted.
The husband also wrote that his wife has rather rich parents.
He explained that his wife comes from a wealthy family and has an "income" from her parents. He seemed upset that she spends a lot of her money on herself and spends none of it on him. The husband, on the other hand, works full time running his own business.
"I leave at 4:30 am and don’t get home until 6 pm. Normal work day is 9-10 hours though, and it is a very physical and dangerous job," he shared.
Recently, his wife had to go away to handle a family issue, and the husband took off work to take care of the children.
While his wife was away, he took time off to ensure his kids were taken care of. But unlike his wife, he thought it was super easy. He actually said he loved being a stay-at-home dad.
After doing "all the things his wife does," he claimed he had free time to do even more around the house, such as cleaning the BBQ, mowing the lawn, power-washing the driveway, and more.
After his wife came home, he told her she has it 'very easy' being a stay-at-home parent.
After living the life she does on a daily basis, the dad said he thought his wife's stay-at-home job was easy and she was "incredibly blessed" to be able to do so.
Apparently, telling his wife this did not go down well. As a result, he asked Reddit if he was wrong for saying and thinking that the "job" she does is rather easy.
The majority of people who responded on Reddit agreed that the dad was totally in the wrong.
Some Reddit users thought that the dad didn't understand what his wife goes through because it's all "new and fun" to him.
"For you, making those lunches and breakfasts and the school drop off was new and fun. For her, its day to day," one person commented. "When you first started your job, I bet you didn't find it tiring. There were new things to learn and new things to try. But now … there's nothing new. Nothing exciting. Just the monotony of the day to day."
Other people pointed out that this week was a 'week off' for him.
Many commenters noted that his "normal" hard labor work routine is stressful for him, so being a stay-at-home parent was like a "vacation."
"You’re misunderstanding something really important here. You spent a week off of your normal routine. Your brain was literally getting juiced on feel good chemicals from being in a new environment/setting," one person wrote. "Your wife spends EVERY DAY doing these chores. To her there is nothing new or engaging about many of these chores. Your week long experience is not equivalent to her lived experience."
Still others pointed out that moms are also recovering from pregnancy and childbirth while raising kids.
Considering she has an 8-month-old, several people reminded the husband that childbirth is very hard on the body and that she has to take care of all of their other children while she's still in the midst of recovering from that.
"4 kids in 5 years would be so hard on her body and on her mentally too," one person wrote. "As a woman, I didn't understand how insanely hard being pregnant and giving birth was until I did it. Maybe if you had been through that 4 times in quick succession, being a SAHP wouldn't seem so easy."
Most of all, many thought that the husband was resentful because his wife came from money.
A lot of Reddit commenters believed that the husband secretly — or not so secretly — resented his wife for having parents with wealth. Many people pointed out that it's great that his wife is able to contribute to the kids and household because most stay-at-home moms don't have an income or money to contribute.
They said it's evident that he's resentful and bitter about the money because it had nothing to do with being a stay-at-home mom but he still included it in the post.
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