Parenting trends and styles are always evolving. For years, helicopter parenting was the thing everyone was talking about. There’s authoritative parenting, permissive parenting, gentle parenting. Now, there’s a new trend sweeping across social media: FAFO parenting. Yes, that same FAFO.
Some may see the trend as a bit old school. It’s definitely reminiscent of the way many of us were parented. But many people are praising FAFO parenting for giving kids crucial decision making skills and understanding.
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The style borrows from a popular saying.
For those not in the know, FAFO stands for “f— around, find out.” Of course, this isn’t a concept that solely applies to raising children. It’s a popular saying for a reason; it applies to just about anything.
FAFO parenting has been on the rise for the last few years. Tiring of gentle parenting, moms are looking for other ideas. This newer concept allows kids to experience the consequences of their actions. So if they mess around, they’re going to “find out” what is going to happen to them rather than giving them an option to opt out. That is, finding out without any major consequences, like injury.
It’s not about punishing your kids, but teaching them.
TikTokker @hey.im.janelle, shared a video about her FAFO parenting journey back in 2022. In the video, she called her style a “subgenre” of authoritative parenting. This way kids “get their natural consequences and get to figure out the way through them,” she explained.
She gave an example of a Cub Scouts camping trip she had recently gone on with her son. “At one point, it was raining pretty hard and the kids were all just playing at the campsite. My son decided he didn’t want to wear his rain jacket anymore,” she said.
@hey.im.janelle Probably described by less uncouth parents as "learning from natural consequences," I've found that the #FAFO method helps kids learn much better than lectures do. #authoritativeparenting #parentsoftiktok #momsoftiktok ♬ original sound – hey.im.janelle
The mom told her son that he could choose to take off his jacket. However, she wasn’t giving him a new shirt when his got wet. Lo and behold, he was stuck wearing a wet shirt. She went on to explain that she wouldn’t endanger her son’s safety or health to prove her point either.
People were on board with her style.
“I kind of like that,” one person commented. “As you mentioned unless there in danger I like the FAFO parenting.”
“I love this,” another exclaimed. “This is what we do. My kids are confident and polite and thinkers! You’re doing great!!!”
Another parent shared: “I parent like this to! my son kept wanting to jump in puddles I explained then his shoes would be wet he decided to jump and then realized.”
“Yep if my kid does something they shouldn’t like jump on the bed and I say hey you could fall dude but ok then they do and well I tried to tell them,” someone else wrote.
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Other parents have shared their FAFO parenting takes on TikTok.
A quick search pulled up videos of parenting sharing their own takes on the trend. Mom @iam_ladywarrior, told the story of how she had to “out feral” her children. She didn’t come out of the experience unscathed, but her parents learned an important lesson.
@iam_ladywarrior FAFO parenting, all with love and laughter 😂
♬ sonido original – Trukos_danny
TikTokker @samcurtis821, is also embracing the style. She shared that she would let her toddler put his shoes on the wrong feet and deal with the consequences. “I’m gonna say ‘atta boy Champ, now we know,'” she quipped.
