Husband Admits to New Mom That He Secretly Wished She’d Die During Traumatic Birth

In the heat of the moment, we’ve all said things that we regretted, and as much as we may want, we can never take them back. The weeks after giving birth are not the time you want to make this mistake — this is an incredibly emotional time fueled with little sleep and raging hormones. But after one dad missed this memo, his wife shared on Reddit that they may never be able to recover after what he told her shortly after their child was born: He wished she’d died during childbirth.

Ever since she gave birth to their third child a few weeks ago, things have been off between the new mom and her husband.

Part of the problem is that the new mom hasn’t really recovered well enough to help out around the house, so things have been falling on the shoulders of her husband. In a post on the r/relationship_advice forum, she explained that things got so bad, the two recently had a huge blowout about her “needing to do more,” she wrote.

In the mom's opinion, her husband just doesn’t get how hard it’s been for her.

After giving birth, she spent two weeks in the hospital recovering from her traumatic delivery, and given everything going on because of the pandemic, her husband wasn't able to visit. “He wasn’t there for the two weeks I was suffering in hospital nor did he witness what the baby went through,” she wrote.

But the husband got angry and screamed that his wife was “throwing it [in] his face.”

She doesn’t blame him for not being there. All she really wanted to do was try to make it clear that things weren’t so easy on her end.

Her husband shot back that she was just “pretending” to feel bad because “I was back to myself within days of our other kids.” He doesn't see why this time her recovery would be any different.

That set off the mom right away.

"I shouted at him that while he wasn’t there [for the two weeks] afterwards, he was there while I went through hours of labour then rushed to the operating room because we were basically both dying," she wrote.

Then her husband got very quiet and said something truly upsetting.

"He calmly said 'I wished you died watching you on that bed. I prayed you’d bleed out,'" she wrote.

She was stunned. How could he say something so hurtful?

The mom decided to step out of the room and check on their baby, but when she came back he flatly denied what he said.

“Then [he] said he didn’t mean it like that, when I wouldn’t drop it he told me f— off he was going to sleep and ignored me.”

Now she’s in their living room crying because all she wants to do is be a good mom, but she’s in pain and her husband doesn’t believe her.

"The one person I thought I could count on just turned on me," she wrote.

"What can I do to make this alright with my husband should I forgive him and put it down to stress or should I ask him to go see a family therapist?"

For some people, there was no coming back from this.

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"That is not something you say out of stress or anger. That's a loaded statement," one person commented. "I'm not sure how you can just move on from that. Either take the kids and go to your parents house or have them or a close friend stay with you."

"For something to come out that crisp and clear, it’s been something he’s already thought of and envisioned in the past. Holy f—," someone else agreed.

A third person put it this way:

“I’ve been with my husband almost 30 years, if he had ever said anything half as terrible as that we would be divorced. Being deliberately unkind is terrible, he was way past that into abuse. You can’t trust him to be your partner.”

It might seem obvious, but just in case it isn't clear — you shouldn't be with someone who can calmly tell you they wish you were dead. Her husband needs to get help — and a reality check.