The way you choose to feed your baby is a decision that only the baby’s parents should make. It’s often a point of conflict. One woman was shocked when she found out her mother-in-law gave her baby a bottle of baby formula while she was busy. Since the mom is trying to exclusively breastfeed, it felt like a violation.
In the shock of the whole situation, the new mom made a decision. She knew that she had to draw a firm boundary. But now, the whole family is mad and she’s fearing she made the wrong choice.
The new mom knew there was only one place to ask for advice.
Writing in the AITA forum on Reddit, the mom shared that her MIL has been “overbearing” since her baby was born three months ago. According to the mom, her MIL also has been giving “unsolicited advice and making passive-aggressive comments about how I parent.”
She explained that the “biggest points of contention” has been the way she chooses to feed her baby. Mom has decided that she wants to breastfeed her baby exclusively. But apparently, her mother-in-law has issues with it. The older woman claims “breastfed babies are too clingy,” saying formula is “better.”
Her MIL’s behavior made her reach a boiling point.
When the mom’s husband was out running errands, his mom came over to “help.” So the mom decided to take a shower, leaving the baby in the crib with grandma.
“When I came back, I saw her holding a bottle and feeding my baby formula. I was in shock,” the new mom wrote. “She saw me and immediately said, ‘See? He’s drinking so well! This is why I told you formula is best!'”
In her shock, the mom “completely lost it.” After taking her baby out of her MIL’s arms, she demanded that the woman leave her house. “She started screaming, saying she was just trying to help and that I was being ungrateful.”
The woman’s husband is supportive, but his family isn’t.
When her husband got home, “he was furious at his mom.” However, he told his wife she “might have overreacted by kicking her out so abruptly.”
After the confrontation, her MIL has been “playing the victim” with the rest of the family. She’s claiming she’s “humiliated,” and is accusing the mom of “keeping her from her grandson.” And while some family members believe she should apologize and let grandma back, she claims her trust is broken.
Everyone is on her side.
The comments are overwhelmingly on the new mom’s side, telling her to hold firm on her boundary.
“Do not leave the baby alone with her,” one person wrote. “Let her know that she crossed a line and therefore her privileges of being alone with the baby are revoked. Until she can respect your parenting choices, she doesn’t get to be alone with him.”
“You are the mother and you decide what your child gets or doesn’t get,” another commented. “End of story. She has NO RIGHT coming in to your home and disrespecting you like that. Not to mention the potential damage she could’ve caused. What if your child decided to refuse the breast after that? Or what if the can of crap she used had a recall which seems to happen a lot. I’m angry for you.”
Someone else wrote: “She made an executive decision about a child that isn’t hers. Therefore that child will never be alone with her again. Personally I would never even let her hold the baby again. She can see it from the couch sorry not sorry.”
“Tell husband she can whine to whomever she wants,” another suggested. “Your answer isn’t changing. She owes a deep, sincere apology, and you’re no contact until she does. He can take over managing her crazy, entitled behavior.”
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