A mom’s controversial take has sparked a heated debate about how parents should teach kids to react if another child hits them. In a video shared on TikTok, mom Brittany Norris asserted that she’s teaching her two children to defend themselves. She added that she’s “not raising a snitch.” While some parents agreed with her, others were concerned about the lesson this attitude teaches children.
Brittany explained that she doesn’t care if her viewpoint is controversial.
On TikTok, the mom explained how she’s teaching her kids to respond if another child hits them. “If someone hits my kid, I’m not raising them to go tell the teacher,” she stated. “I’m not raising a snitch. Handle it yourself, hit back, defend yourself, and if that’s not enough, I will interfere.”
And if other parents have an issue with that? It doesn’t really matter to her. She continued with, “If that’s controversial, I don’t really care, because no. Hit back harder. Thank you.”
Many parents who watched the video seemed to agree with this take.
@brittanynorris_ like be fr #parenting #fightback #parentsoftiktok ♬ original sound – brittany norris
“That’s how my parents raised me, and it’s def how I’m raising my kids,” one person commented on the video. “We use the ‘don’t start it, but you better finish it’ rule! 👏,” another parent agreed. Several other parents argued that “self-defense” is important even if it results in “getting in trouble.”
But others argued it’s deeper than that.
Unsurprisingly, not everyone believes that teaching a child to hit back is a good idea. Some parents shared what they’re teaching their kids instead. “I’m teaching them to use their voice first because doing the same thing back doesn’t make sense,” one of them wrote. Another parent added, “And if your kid hits mine I am raising a snitch. I’m teaching them [to] learn that handbook, take it to admin, press charges and have it documented in their student file.”
A third parent described Brittany’s opinion as “gross.” “I’m raising a boy,” they said. “I can’t raise him like this without creating the next generation’s abusive men. this energy is gross, hitting people isn’t okay.”
Others believe the issue is much more nuanced than how it was portrayed in the mom’s short clip. “This teaches kids to solve problems with violence instead of seeking help or resolution,” one critic argued. “It also undermines trust in teachers and makes schools harder to manage.”
A teacher pointed out that in their experience, this way of parenting definitely has caused some issues in the classroom. Because “nearly every parent” thinks in the way Brittany does, “fighting is out of control,” the elementary teacher said. “If they don’t tell the teacher it removes all possibilities of problem solving and learning to coexist,” the teacher continued. “I’m not saying kids cannot learn to defend themselves or advocate for themselves but they need to communicate with the adults in charge of keeping them safe before it gets to that point.”
The mom made it clear that she doesn’t condone hitting first.
Speaking to Today.com, Brittany emphasized that she’s advocating for self-defense, not hitting first. Although some parents disagreed with her approach, she still believes it’s better to teach her kids to “stick up for yourself.”
“I would rather be in the principal’s office because my child stood up for herself,” she said.
