Pregnancy changes women. We go through a total metamorphosis, both physically and emotionally, while preparing to give birth. After our babies are born, we aren't the same person we used to be. The transformation is beautiful, as are the marks it leaves on our bodies and our souls.
Stretch marks aren't glamorous, but they are a part of many women's lives. How they choose to show them off is totally up to them. Confidence is queen, and body-shaming is never the right answer. Rocking a two-piece swimsuit at the pool should be any woman's prerogative, stretch marks or not. Sadly some people — even other moms — don't quite get that.
More from CafeMom: This Mom Isn't Going To Hide Her Body After 10 Pregnancies & 6 Miscarriages
Every mom's body is different.
A mom of 2-year-old quadruplets was feeling pretty good about herself until a recent trip to the pool with her kids. She was at swim lessons in a two-piece bathing suit when some other moms made comments to her about her appearance. They were uncomfortable with her stretch marks showing. She explained the story in Reddit's AITA Forum.
"The suggested if I do another class with my kids here, I cover up my stomach because nobody wants to see it Because of the stretch marks from my pregnancy. (Which is a lot more than average because I had quadruplets). I asked if they had an issue with how my husband/his friends didn't wear a shirt at all, and they said the didn't care because they didn't have the 'baby belly' like I did."
Naturally, her feelings were hurt.
No one should ever talk about another person's body. Commenting on a postpartum figure is particularly insulting. OP thought about the interaction a lot and wondered if the other women were being rude or trying to be helpful. Her husband told her she was fine and to let it go.
Should she cover her tummy or tell them to mind their mouths?
Moms need to be kind to other moms.
Some Redditors were quick to defend OP.
"You've had 4 babies (damn, good luck moving forward, OP, that has to be scary at times !), your body is the way it is because it carried them, and I'm glad that shame didn't occur to you, or at least not prior to these women feeling entitled to telling you to hide," someone wrote. "There is no reason to cover stretch marks, they're not inappropriate at all, but particularly not when they tell a story of epic motherhood. Keep wearing whatever you want. Let these women desperately try to airbrush their own bodies IRL if that's what makes them comfortable, but they're not entitled to trying to extend their own issues to you."
A person with experience felt like OP needed to speak up. "I've worked in aquatics, and I'd report this to the pool/facility manager and have them speak to the moms," the person advised. "No one who runs a pool wants patrons body shaming one another. It's way out of line. NTA."
Others thought the story was fishy.
Or that maybe OP was fishing for a compliment.
Like this person who wrote: "YTA, not bc you wore a bikini but bc you're full of it and this post is either fake, or you posted it knowing full well that you weren't TA and are therefore karma farming. Bc there is literally no way that anyone would ever be considered the AH for wearing a bikini to the pool! What else makes YTA is that you just created this acct. today, this is your only post and you've not replied to even a single comment. Which makes it further obvious that this is a made up story, likely from a bot, and its only purpose is to garner karma, which you were (sadly!) successful at."
And this one: "Fake story. quadruplets already make this story unlikely. complete stranger goes up to the mother of quadruplets and instead of going 'holy f— quadruplets how insanely improbable' they do the least socially acceptable or expected thing possible and walk up to a mother of quadruplets just to say 'yuck your belly looks like s— cover it up cause its making us all uncomfortable.'"
More from CafeMom: My Girlfriend Was Shamed at a Pool Party Because a Mom With PPD Was Jealous of Her Body
Regardless, there's a lesson here.
Whether this happened or not, we can always use these kinds of stories as reminders not to talk about anyone else's body. We shouldn’t talk negatively about our own, either. Life is too short. We all just need to be kind. If we can't say something nice, we should keep moving.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
