Finding out that a new baby is going to be entering the world is exciting for the whole family. The parents look forward to seeing how the pregnancy unfolds and start planning what the future may look like. Their parents, the grandparents-to-be, have their own level of excitement, too and when a family is happy and involved it usually makes the experience that much better.
That's not always the case though — maybe because the pregnancy wasn't planned, and people are scrambling more than planning. Or it could be a case of someone getting too personal with the mom-to-be. That's basically what happened to one expecting mom, and she took to Reddit to get advice.
Posting in Reddit's AITA community, an anonymous mom-to-be shared some history on her relationship and her pregnancy.
"My MIL is mostly a person who is easy to get along with, but for some reason, the lady has snapped after we announced that I'm pregnant," the expecting mom wrote. "We let her get out all of her excitement, but didn't really encourage it. She keeps doing this weird thing where she refers to the baby as 'her' baby."
The Redditor thinks that as time goes on she may change, but she finds the entire conversation "boring." She says she finds pregnancy "rather boring." While she's happy to be expecting, she doesn't understand the women who get overly excited and she "cannot relate to women who never shut up about it."
"It's like the only thing anyone wants to talk to me about," she explained.
Recently, her MIL was over, and she brought up the topic of baby names.
"MIL was over a few weeks ago and started talking names," the mom-to-be said. "She told me to give her a list and she'd go through and let us know which ones she liked or didn't like."
"I asked her why that was necessary, and she said 'Oh, you know! Just making sure we're on the same page.'" OP explained. It seems that phrase didn't sit well with her so she asked her MIL to clarify what she meant by that — wondering why she felt they "need to be on the same page."
MIL "started getting a bit cagey about it. Oh you know. Just one of those things. Gotta make sure everyone's on board with the name," she said.
"At that point, I cleared my throat and said, very kindly but firmly, 'There's no reason for anyone else to be 'on board' with the names we've chosen.'"
Well, that upset her MIL and the conversation got a touch heated.
"She got a bit upset at that and said 'Well it's my grandchild! My baby!'" OP explained.
She responded to her MIL, letting her know firmly that it's not her baby: "Grandchild, yes. But… you don't think you get 'a say' in anything involving her, do you? Like … you don't think you get any say in her name, how she's raised, what schools she goes to, how she dresses, any of it, right? You know you're not the parent here, right?"
As you could imagine, this, also, didn’t sit well with her MIL.
From there, the conversation got even more tense.
"Well, she blew up. Calling me ungrateful," OP explained. Her MIL also called her "snobby, snooty, the whole shebang."
OP said at that point she "got up and said I was bored with this conversation and went to the backyard to go read in the sun while she melted down to my husband about how I'm stealing all the joy from her and that don't I get that grandma is the most important role she'll ever play?"
Her husband got involved and didn't let his mom go anywhere with the conversation and sent her home.
"My husband told her to knock off the theatrics and go home, and now she's going all over social media playing up what a victim she is because, I guess now we're 'keeping her baby away,'" OP explained, saying that it clearly isn't true — and her baby hasn't even been born yet.
"I've had so much pushback from family telling us we need to just get over it and learn to accept that Grandma's going to be around and that yeah, maybe she should get a say in some things, after all, it's her grandchild," OP wrote.
She explained that she was at a "loss" wondering if it was "some weird cultural thing" and asked Reddit for opinions.
"F the family’s position," one person replied. "It’s your kid. Good for you & husband for standing up for yourselves. PS … when it’s time to deliver, maybe let hospital security know she isn’t allowed in the delivery room or near your baby. To quote noted philosopher Han Solo, I’ve got a bad feeling about this… NTA."
Others in the comment tread snapped at OP, saying she doesn't seem to be easy to be around either. One person commented, "ESH – your MIL for thinking she gets a say in the baby's name, and you for how insufferable you come across."
Another called OP out saying that it wasn't OK for her to tell her MIL that she was bored by the conversation and just walk away.
"The whole tone of this post makes you sound so completely unbearable that I don't believe you're portraying your MIL accurately at all," another pointed out. "God forbid she get excited at the prospect of having grandkids."
"ESH – She’s overstepping but you’re extremely callous," someone else wrote. "I feel sorry for your unborn child because you have no excitement or joy at all. I’m assuming this was unplanned…The only pleasure you seem to be getting is from being rude and feeling like you got the upper hand. Generally, immature behavior."
Reddit couldn't agree on who was in the wrong here because both of them sound annoying, TBH.
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