Some things your mother-in-law does irk you, but you pick your battles and let them go. But other things you worry really cross the line, and you can't stay quiet about those. Her MIL taking a bath with the grandkids while naked is something that one parent on Reddit can't ignore. The parent wonders about taking action to stop the MIL from these strange family trips to the tub.
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The situation with grandma is 'toxic' — to say the least.
Ever since the Original Poster (OP) and her husband split, it's become that way. Things haven’t improved at all, even though both the husband and his mother have supervised visitation.
“Grandma is no better,” the OP explained in a since-deleted post on the r/JUSTNOMIL forum. She apparently threatens suicide, files false reports with the Department of Children and Family Services and “blames me for domestic violence committed by her son."
The OP is trying to figure out a formal way to get the now ex-MIL away from the ex-husband’s visitation time.
But the OP is debating putting one strange tidbit in the court papers.
“She bathed with my children,” the OP wrote. “After I said it made me uncomfortable. Like, naked in the tub with my naked 4-year-old.
“Grandma even texted me a pic of her and my kid in the tub,” the OP added. “So the pic is an exhibit.”
Now the OP wants to know if the photo should be included in the papers filed in court.
The OP's lawyer says yes. Their friends say “yes, wtf that’s weird.”
But the OP doesn’t “want to seem petty. Opinions?”
And of course, the people of Reddit were happy to supply their thoughts.
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Many people agreed that the OP needed to listen to the lawyers.
"Include it. It shows a pattern of poor judgement," wrote one person.
"Include everything that makes you uncomfortable. EVERYTHING," another commenter agreed. "Also if your lawyer (who you are paying) is telling you to do something that will help you (and by extension them), it's a good idea to listen to them."
A third commenter put it simply: "In one word: YES."
A few people thought there might be a reasonable explanation for what was going on.
"I don't get the US. For us it was normal to bath[e] and shower as kids with our parents and grandparents, or siblings and cousins …" one commenter explained.
"In some cultures this is normal and even considered an important bonding experience," another person added. But even that person admitted "that fact shouldn't stop you from including this in your case if it makes you uncomfortable."
"If this was the only problematic behaviour, and she was otherwise the perfect MIL and Grandma, you would be overreacting," the person continued. "Because she's already caused issues for you? This isn't overreacting."
These are definitely uncomfortable conversations to have, but ultimately only the OP can decide what's right for her family.
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