It’s not uncommon for grandmothers to get a little too clingy and over-possessive when a new baby is on the way — especially if it’s their first grandchild. They want to buy clothes and toys. They sometimes try to inflict their parenting styles on the new parents.
Some moms may even overstay their welcome when it comes to helping out with a newborn. But all of that pales in comparison to what one grandmother-to-be did to prepare for the arrival of her grandchild.
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The issue began when this MIL kept calling her unborn grandchild 'her baby.'
An expectant mother wrote on Reddit to ask if she and her husband were being unreasonably hard on his mother, her mother-in-law.
The woman wrote that she and her husband are having their first child and they moved to be closer to his family. She is not in contact with her own family members.
During her pregnancy, her MIL has been calling the unborn child, “her baby.” She says things like, “I can't wait for my baby to be born" and "My baby is going to be so loved." The OP shared that it’s rubbed her the wrong way but her husband told her to just ignore his mom. Things took a turn for the worse when the MIL suggested she throw a baby shower for the OP.
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Eventually, the MIL asked if she could throw a baby shower, including just her friends.
The MIL asked to invite her friends, telling OP that she and her friends made an agreement that they would celebrate each others’ kids’ weddings and births. Since the OP and her husband eloped, the MIL said the couple owed her this. When the OP asked if she could invite her own friends, too, the MIL said no, that it was for her friends and if the OP’s friends wanted to throw her an additional shower, they could.
This expectant mom was hesitant, but she agreed. She and her husband spent hours on the registry which her MIL said she had shared with her friends. The MIL then asked the OP what design she wanted on her cake and cookies. She told her MIL a garden theme because that’s how she was decorating the nursery.
None of the decorations or gifts reflected what the mother-to-be wanted.
On the day of the shower, the OP was given a mom-to-be sash and her MIL a granny-to-be sash. That’s understandable. But things went downhill from there. The theme of the shower was circus animals. The cake had an elephant and balloons on it. The cookies were animals, and when the OP sat down to open presents, everything was circus or animal themed. Nothing came from her registry.
She was so confused that she checked her registry to make sure she hadn’t inadvertently added these items. Her original requests were all still there. She was confused, but she tried to be gracious to her guests, thanking them for their gifts.
Her husband, she noted, “was a little less tactful.” He noticed all of the gifts and decor and asked, “What’s up with all the circus animals?” Then he looked at his mom and said, “MOM, what did you do?”
The OP wonders if she and her husband went too far confronting her MIL.
The MIL smiled and said, “I didn't like the theme you chose for my baby. I'm going to decorate my baby's nursery at my house with circus animals, so I created a registry for myself … My baby is going to need a room at my house so I threw a shower for myself."
That’s when the OP said she lost her composure. She told her MIL that she would not see her baby and to stop referring to her child as her own. The OP’s husband told his mom that she’s delusional if she thinks they’re going to allow this.
The MIL stated crying and said they were withholding her baby from her. Since then, the couple have been getting texts from family and friends calling them selfish and ungrateful. They claim that they ruined the joy of her becoming a grandmother. So the OP is now wondering if she and her husband were the a–holes in this situation.
The people of Reddit agreed this MIL is 'unhinged.'
The people of Reddit offered a resounding "no." In fact, some even suggested that she and her husband take his mother’s actions even more seriously, as they could point to something more sinister.
“Make sure if she has keys to your home locks are changed,” one user wrote. “Make sure you invest in security cameras…Your mil is unhinged and this has Hand that Rocks the Cradle vibes.”
Others commended the OP’s husband for confronting his mom, even if it took a while. One wrote: “Cheers for your husband for finally stepping in. He should have trusted your intuition, but at least he's now taking your side.”
Others couldn’t help but note the humor in the shower being circus themed. “Her circus has plenty of clowns,” one user wrote. Still, despite warnings from the internet, the OP shared that she and her husband aren’t ready to go 100% no contact with the MIL. However, they do plan to keep their distance for now.
“We did agree that she will not be allowed to be alone with the baby for the foreseeable future,” the OP wrote. “Honestly I suspect MIL will be a good grandma – but she’s going to have to earn my and my husband’s trust again.”
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
