Relationships, especially long-term relationships, are complicated. The longer you’re with someone, the easier it is to take them for granted. Many married couples go through these kinds of challenges, especially when it comes to romance and sex. And sometimes things can escalate. A woman expressed concern after her husband made a shocking confession regarding a coworker’s TikTok video. Though her husband was forthcoming and honest when asked, it wasn’t reassuring to his wife. In fact, his admission only made her feel more insecure about their marriage.
The woman and her husband have been married for 10 years.
Posting in the r/Marriage forum on Reddit, she shared that in addition to their decade of marriage, they have three kids.
“I was going through my husband’s pictures on his phone because he takes our oldest to basketball practice and takes videos of him during practice,” she wrote.
While searching for videos, she found what she believed to be an “accidental” screenshot of a “thirst trap” TikTok video.
She brought it up to him, but there was no way she could have anticipated his response.
The woman explained she “semi jokingly” mentioned the video to her husband. “He admitted it was a coworker and he was using her account to masturbate to,” she wrote.
According to the wife, the videos aren’t “extremely suggestive.” They feature the woman lip-syncing to songs and showing a little cleavage.
“I’m so incredibly hurt,” she wrote. “I would honestly be far FAR more accepting of porn because those people are total strangers. A coworker is with you every day and easily accessible.”
The move feels like a betrayal for her.
She went on to say that she now feels like her husband “obviously wants to have sex with her since he’s fantasizing about her already.”
The wife revealed that she hadn’t had the opportunity to talk to her husband because he dropped the truth bomb and then went on a long-planned work trip. She also shared that if she hadn’t already had advance notice of the trip, she’d fear he was lying to her.
“I’m extremely curious how long he’s been doing this and if they flirt at work etc. I know it’s normal to have ‘crushes’ and fantasies outside of your marriage, but this feels like such a betrayal and like the start of an affair,” she wrote.
Commenters were quick to assure her that her feelings are valid.
Many of the responders were shocked that her husband told the truth about the TikTok video so freely. “Batman himself couldn’t get that information out of me,” one person joked.
“That is crazy behavior. To me that seems like he wants to cheat. I would be absolutely devastated,” another commenter wrote. “I don’t think I could look at my husband the same way after that.”
Someone else suggested the husband deserved “some credit” for his honesty while suggesting the wife use his trip as time to reflect. “Could you call it an affair – I guess, but feels like a reach. It’s a big offense however and candidly kind of gross. Definitely immature,” they wrote.
“I would be extremely bothered by this,” another commenter wrote. “I would never feel secure about my husband being at work ever again because I would always be wondering if he’s lusting after his coworker… and that’s a terrible way to live.”
