Having an orgasm, or “reaching the pinnacle” as they would put it on the Netflix series Bridgerton, is the climax (pun intended) of sex. For most heterosexual women, though, having an orgasm during sex isn’t a given. That’s why it’s not uncommon for women to have experience with faking it. I mean, there’s a reason the Katz’s Deli scene in When Harry Met Sally has been so iconic for so long.
For men, however, faking it, is not as common — and it definitely isn’t talked about as often. On a Reddit thread, men opened up about the times they’ve faked orgasms, and they got real about what led to the circumstances. Here are some of their confessions:
I drooled on her.
“Had to once – I was tired, slightly tipsy and really not in the mood but the girl I was with really wanted to so we got going.
After she was done, I just went into doggy and pulled out and slightly drooled while pretending to cum. Then told her not to move, grabbed a tissue and wiped it up.
All good. Never noticed, everyone happy. 😂” –iusman975
She insisted on discussing what was ‘wrong.’
“I did [a] few times when I dated this crazy women. Whenever she told me she can’t come and we should give it a rest I said ‘ok, no problem, let’s rest and give it a go tomorrow’. Whenever I said I can’t come (done it only twice) this would lead to endless discussions what is wrong, figuring out a reason, talking about how I was not attracted to her anymore, not enjoying her body because I must be watching porn instead of watching her. She was smoking hot, so hot, I would not feel urge to watch porn, but also batsh– crazy, so I could never be honest about being tired. Luckily this didn’t happen often and relationship didn’t stick as well.” –custard2137
I just wanted it to be over.
“Yes, so it could be over without a lot of questions, feelings, or accusations.” –Phantomtastic
Sometimes it gets boring.
“I have, a few times. Sometimes you just can’t finish and it’s become really boring. You just have to fake it and move on.
I did have one insatiable ex who wanted round after round, so at times I’d fake the first one so I could go again soon afterwards.” –aketaster
It’s only polite to fake it.
“When you have been going too long, you are tired or any other reason and you know you are not going to finish then it is only polite to fake it. It allows the sex to finish without any awkwardness. If she realises what you did she can return the politeness by not mentioning it.
When I was a young man I even faked it with a sex worker. She just started annoying me so I faked. She looked at the empty condom and made some derogatory joke. I was out of there ASAP.” –swomismybitch
It was less of a hassle.
“Absolutely, probably a dozen or so times, back when I was younger and had little interest in anything else. The reasons were generally the same – I wasn’t much interested in the woman or the sex was boring. I’d say I got pretty good at faking it eventually. In my experience, it was just less hassle to pretend than it was to reject a woman’s advances. Most women I’ve met don’t handle rejection well.” –MedicalPoetry6261
I just lost it.
“Only once. Was with a girl I’d been talking to for a while but it was the first time we hooked up. Also the first time with someone after getting out of a 7 year relationship. I’m not really sure what happened, but part of the way through I just lost it. Felt very strange being with a different person, felt foreign. So after she was done, I faked and went to the bathroom to clean up then took her home. It was very strange, like a switched flipped and i was suddenly out of the mood.” –Stockasaurus_Rex
I put my partner’s pleasure before my own.
“Few times. When I’m really tired I usually can’t finish and we have been at it for longer than 20 minutes. I only wear a condom so it’s easier to fake. Never been called out for it as I always put their pleasure before mine.” –BoredAtWork221b
I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.
“I have a few times. I know it’s not fair as I wouldn’t want a woman to do that with me. Women are used to men always getting off. So sometimes when we don’t they take it personally like they aren’t good enough, or we aren’t attracted to them. That’s far from the case. I was drinking back then and sometimes it was hard to finish. Plus I wasn’t in the best of physical shape. I’d get tired and not want to hurt their feelings.” –Overall_Passenger804
I only faked the timing.
“Not sure if this counts but I faked the timing! I faked not orgasming then faked an appropriately timed orgasm.
Once, I came a bit earlier than I should have, I knew she still hadn’t finished and that I could maintain my hard on a while, so I didn’t disclose that I came (I was wearing a condom), kept thrusting until she finished and then faked an orgasm. I faked because I knew I was about to lose my erection.” –Egyptian_Voltaire
Maybe it’s time to destigmatize sex without orgasm, for everyone! Nobody needs to leave a sexual encounter feeling guilty or awkward, so make sure to prioritize communication with your partner.
