Family dynamics can be complicated when you’re dealing with adoptive siblings. Families created through adoption are often wonderful, but dynamics do also change over time. Relationships are always more complicated with adult siblings and being related through adoption certainly doesn’t change that. One woman is dealing with those complications after her biological mother left her a large sum of money when she died. Despite only being related through adoption, the woman’s adoptive siblings believe they also deserve some of the inheritance.
The woman sought advice on Reddit.
Turning to the AITA forum for advice, the woman posed her dilemma. She explained that the bio mom she never met left her $180,000. The woman went on to explain that she was adopted at birth by a “wonderful family” who had two other adopted kids.
Her adoptive siblings aren’t pleased with her recent financial gain.
“My siblings are now saying that it isn’t fair I got everything when they also ‘deserve’ it being adopted as well. They want to split it three ways!” the woman wrote.
And it seems that her parents aren’t helping with the whole situation. She explained that they’re “staying neutral,” which she believes is “uncomfortable.”
The woman has no other connection to her biological family.
“The thing is, this was MY birth mother. She chose to find me and leave me this money. My siblings have their own birth families they could easily have a connection to someday. For me, this feels like my one connection to where I came from,” she said.
All of the disagreements about the money, as well as her adoptive parents’ neutrality is beginning to take a toll. “Now family dinners are awkward because my siblings barely talk to me,” she confessed. She then asked if she was being “selfish” for not wanting to share the money that is “legally” hers.
People were overwhelmingly on her side.
“Your siblings are absolutely not entitled to your inheritance,” one person wrote. “They’re entitled, greedy, and jealous. Your biological mother has no connection to them. Just because they were adopted too, doesn’t mean that everything you get is supposed to be split equally. Your parents are doing you, and their other children, a huge disservice as parents by not intervening on your behalf. They should be supporting you and teaching or reinforcing their lessons that their other children are not entitled to everything everyone else gets or has. Staying neutral is not helping the situation and only causing unnecessary animosity, anger, resentment, stress and conflict.”
Another commenter shared: “This was left to you, by YOUR birth mother who wanted to give you what she could to better your life. She did not want to give anything to your siblings who have no connection to her. I think it would be unfair to her to give them anything other than a slightly larger than usual holiday present, IF you still feel like it after this grotesque behavior.”
“Your parents shouldn’t be neutral at all,” another poster wrote. “They should say, while maybe ‘unfair’ in their eyes, they aren’t entitled to other people’s money or possessions. It was your birth mother’s money. It was your birth mother’s choice to leave you her estate. She felt that pull to you and she has ZERO relationship or reason to have that split among your siblings. It was never intended for that. What was once hers is now yours.”
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