I Refuse To Go to My Selfish Sister’s Wedding & My Family Is Furious

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All families have drama. This is especially true when one family member gets hitched. And the bigger the family, the more problems there are. One Redditor who comes from a large family posted with a difficult dilemma: To go or not to go to his sister's wedding.

The original poster is one of seven kids, from the eldest to the youngest: Lydia, Josh, Leo, OP, Erin, Nadia, and Lexie. "With that many siblings, it's easy to get lost in the crowd," shares OP. "Some of us have our 'positions,' so to speak."

OP notes that Erin was the last planned child and the family considers her "the golden child." Erin was born premature and OP believes his parents coddled her. 

Erin is engaged and her wedding was moved to an earlier date because of a cancellation. But the new date was the same as the high school graduation of OP's other little sister, Nadia. 

At first, Erin and everyone in the family understood the situation and were OK with missing Nadia's celebration. "We were all sympathetic, but it wasn't intentional," the OP notes.

But then, more details about how Erin chose the date started to unfold.

"Nadia later told me and Leo that she was there when Erin got the call about the cancellation and told Erin that she was graduating that day, but Erin just laughed and accepted the date anyway."

OP felt this was a "very Erin thing to do." She is someone who only thinks about herself. 

For instance, Erin intentionally told the family she was engaged on Lydia's wedding anniversary. In addition, she scheduled her engagement party on the same day as Nadia's 18th birthday. 

When OP confronted her about this, OP says Erin claimed, "Nadia's [high school] graduation didn't matter. She wanted to get married to the love of her life sooner — and our family had been to plenty of [high school] graduations at this point, anyway." 

Erin justifies her decision by saying they still have Lexi.

OP says the worst part is he feels really bad for Nadia since she's been wanting to graduate for so long. She's witnessed all her siblings go through it and have huge celebrations thrown by their parents. When OP asked Nadia what she wanted, she said she wanted to have her day.

After their conversation, OP decided that he will not attend the wedding. Leo has also said he's not going. 

But most of the family members weren't as supportive. 

"Everyone's angry," said OP. "Erin's furious … Mom's trying to convince me to come to the wedding … but I feel like if I don't do this then it sets a precedent in Nadia's life that she's always going to mean less than Erin."

OP's family has left him messages saying he's an a–hole and an idiot. They want him to "step up and be a good brother." 

Plus, OP's son is supposed to be the ring bearer, but now he's reconsidering his decision because of the way his family is reacting.

The parents are trying to patch things up with Nadia. Their dad promises he will take her out for dinner after the wedding, but their mom "won't stop cornering her," said OP.

Currently, Nadia is staying with OP and he's thinking about whether he's being a good brother. 

Redditors chimed in. Overall, they believe OP is doing the right thing.

A couple of self-proclaimed petty commenters advised OP to pull his son out of the wedding.

"Erin tried to make her little [sister's] graduation all about her and you are being a good big brother and standing up for Nadia," one person commented. "Also, I am extra petty, but I would pull your son out of the wedding in solidarity for Nadia."

"OP, pull out your son, if you want to be even more petty, make him some kind of bearer for Nadia's graduation," wrote another person. "Continue being a good brother."

Another commenter pointed out that they feel Erin is not doing her part as a good sister.

"Why is no one asking Erin to 'step up and be a good sister' and not knowingly (willfully) trample someone else's day?" one commenter wondered. "Erin did not have to do what she did. But she WANTED to, and that makes it even worse than it already [is]."

Redditors sympathized with OP and said he's a good brother by treating Nadia with sympathy and respect.

One Redditor commented: "You are an amazing brother. I would love to have you as my brother."

"What Erin and your folks don't seem to get is when they say, 'Graduation is less important,' that's not what Nadia hears," someone pointed out. "She hears, 'Nadia is less important.' And Erin certainly has a history of treating her that way. Good for you for trying to help Nadia feel like she matters too."