A woman shared on TikTok that she had been "soft launching" her divorce slowly on social media for several months before making it official. Sierra, who goes by @SierraonTikTok, told her followers that it helped her "cope a little bit." In the video, she explains how she methodically erased her ex-husband from her socials over an extended period of time.
Her "hard launch" video has now been viewed over 300,000 times, with a number of TikTokers weighing in on her choice to slowly announce her divorce, which has become something of a trend on social media. People also shared their own relationship and breakup stories in the comments. Many say they did notice the small details Sierra mentioned in her video.
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‘Do my followers care? Probably not.'
Sierra started her video saying: “Am I a celebrity? No. Am I an influencer? No. Do my followers care? Probably not. But it was fun for me and helped me cope a little bit.” The first clue she dropped was a "top 5" post on Instagram stories for New Year's Eve, which did not include her husband, she shared.
She also posted a picture of just her dog on New Year's Day saying, “Now you might see this picture and think this is just a cute picture of her dog. No, this is new year's day. Still no evidence of my husband.”
She added that she also didn’t post any family Christmas pictures that year, a detail many nosey followers might have picked up on.
‘The first time I posted a picture of just myself in years.'
In February, Sierra posted a picture of just herself wearing jeans she had just bought and said, “This was the first picture I had posted of just myself in years.” We’ve all heard of making relationships "Facebook official," well the opposite can be true as well.
Next up on Sierra’s soft launch was changing her profile picture from a wedding picture to a photo of just her. “I changed it from our wedding picture, to a throwback photo of just me in 2019,” she said in her video. She added that she posted a meme on Valentine's Day that said, “time isn’t real but my back pain is.” The biggest part of the social media divorce launch though, was making her relationship status on Facebook private.
Lastly, she started archiving all the feed photos with her husband, one at a time, to not “raise suspicion” she said. She added, “I eventually deleted all of them and then blocked and unfollowed my ex.” Sierra ended her video saying, now that everyone has found my account, "Hi, I’m getting divorced.”
Social media plays a huge part in relationships now, especially when it comes to announcing a new relationship or ending one.
Social media is a part of most of our lives, so it’s not surprising that it factors into relationships, too. Couples are expected to use it to announce or share that they are getting together or breaking up. Facebook even conducted a study on its users who announced a breakup to help provide marketers with information to reach them.
The study explored, “what it means for people to end a relationship in the digital age," per Social Media Today.
The number of users who see relationship updates and posts in their feeds is high, according to the Pew Research Center, noting that 8 out of 10 social media users see others post about their relationship on social media. This might make you want to think twice before posting about your love life, unless you're OK with bringing everyone you know along for the ride.
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TikTokers shared their own ‘soft launch’ relationship stories.
In their comments on Sierra's video, many TikTokers shared how they soft launched their own breakups and divorces.
One user commented: “I did the exact same thing when I got divorced. My finale was changing my name on fb. Everyone pretty much knew after that.”
“Separated in Oct,” wrote another. "I hard launched mine with a pic of just me and the kids on the Christmas cards to everyone ."
Another pointed out how you go from taking couples pics all the time to finally taking selfies again, saying the transition is fun. “The never posting pics of yourself pre breakup to selfie love post breakup is so fun,” commented one person.
Other users noted they wipe their significant others off their socials after a bad fight. They say it is to keep them guessing. “I got so mad at my husband I wiped him off my social media … that was a year ago," wrote one user. "We are still married Now I wonder how many people think we aren’t."
