Each parent has to choose what type of parent they want to be and what type of discipline philosophy they will implement with their own children. While we're all living and raising children in the same era, the strategies we choose to use will differ based on taste, effectiveness, and what our children respond to. If parents of the same generation can’t agree on one particular style, you can image the chasm that exists between people of different generations.
One philosophical difference between one parent and their mother-in-law caused some tension after the two disagreed on how discipline should be handled, particularly when it comes to spanking.
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A Reddit user's MIL spanked their toddler without permission.
A frustrated parent shared their experience on Reddit. The original poster explained that her mother-in-law was very tired and stressed watching the OP’s toddler while she tended to her infant. The day was a bit unusual because it was the toddler’s first day at day care.
“My little one was misbehaving in an attempt to let us know he was feeling unregulated,” the OP wrote. Because this parent had their younger child, they couldn’t properly tend to the toddler and it fell on grandma. In response to his misbehavior, the MIL spanked the toddler.
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But the corporal punishment didn't stop there.
The OP addressed the behavior immediately: “I told her this is not the way to educate.” The MIL said "OK," but then did it again shortly after. When the OP told her again not to do that because she didn’t like it, the MIL got upset and told her she was overreacting.
Eventually, the MIL walked away to take a break and calm down. When she returned, she apologized to the OP but then said, “It's better for a kid to cry than for a parent to cry after a kid is hurt.”
The OP thinks adults should 'control their actions.'
The OP doesn’t agree. And while she didn’t discuss it any further with the MIL, on Reddit she wrote that no one should hit children in that way. She said if a stranger saw her hitting the child, she would understand if the stranger intervened.
“Like my kid is not my property,” the OP stated. “I gave birth to him but that does not mean i can hurt him. Adults should protect defenseless kids, it's our responsibility to control our actions.”
The Reddit community had a couple of suggestions.
The OP wondered how members of the Reddit community would handle this situation. They had plenty of suggestions. Someone suggested the OP have a conversation with her MIL, offering strategies to handle the toddler’s challenging behavior.
“If she refuses to do any of these and instead will spank your kid if she wants to then she isn’t a person who should be around your child,” the commenter concluded.
Others took a more drastic approach, saying that if anyone spanked their child, they would never see them again.
The OP needs to watch out for her MIL.
But the OP clarified that it wasn’t an intense spanking, it was a light swat on her child’s hand or bottom.
“My child did not feel that,” the OP wrote. “Nevertheless I still hate it, because even though it was not painful, it is still an action that 1. It will easily escalate to hitting hard 2. It may not have force but it is still hitting, and a form of violence.”
Agreed. As the child gets older, and the behavior more severe, the hits are likely to get stronger as well. But that’s neither here nor there. If the OP told their MIL they didn’t want her to spank their child, it shouldn’t have happened.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
