If you've ever had a pet, you know that each person's love for an animal can be unique. Pets can be like part of the family. They're often a source of comfort their owners cannot find in a human. An animal can be the greatest blessing a person has when they're experiencing grief. But an animal doesn't actually replace a person, does it?
One Redditor asked the AITA forum for some help dealing with a situation with her family. She got pregnant unexpectedly but welcomed the baby with open arms. The original poster suffered from postpartum depression and eventually she and her boyfriend broke up, but she found great comfort in her dog.
Then her infant son got sick and died. She became even more depressed, but the one constant was her dog. Family recently came to visit and made some pretty harsh remarks about her and her dog, and now she wonders if she shouldn't be so close with her pet.
The baby came as a surprise.
OP explained that she and her boyfriend became pregnant with their son at the beginning of the pandemic. The pregnancy was a surprise, but they were excited to start a family. The birth was traumatic, and things went downhill from there.
"My water broke after being shoved by a man, i fell on my stomach. We rushed to the hospital and called my bf, along with his mother," OP wrote. "Baby was born naturally and with a fractured arm, birthing was hell. Traumatic.
Fams visited same day, everyone was doting on Him, even my bf, while i was suffering on my bed, couldn't feel my legs and i was stiched," she continued. "Nobody paid attention to me, not even the nurses when i complained. Anyway, not surprising, i got Postpartum depression."
Her depression got worse.
Over time, things did not improve for OP. Her depression got worse, and she and her boyfriend broke up. People assured her that things would be OK, but she wasn't hopeful. "Everybody just said that everyone goes though that with their children," she shared.
Sadly, her son became sick, and doctors found a tumor on his brain. During this time, OP's mom also died of a heart attack. She was heartbroken. The only thing keeping her calm at this point was her puppy.
"Around all this time, when i got pregnant i was given a puppy, a small poodle, Gabbana. My best friend, even took photos of him with my unborns kids clothes. Bf out of nowhere doesn't want nothing with our kid, knowing we were struggling with money for even surviving at that point," she wrote.
OP's son died.
Her son needed brain surgery, and he ended up dying in the middle of the operation. She quickly began therapy, and things were going well. She continued to spend time with Gabbana and felt comfort in that.
"I started spending even more time with my dog the most, to the point we're attached to one another; whenever i leave the house i feel anxious without him," she wrote.
She takes the dog everywhere, including to a recent dinner at her aunt's house. Things seemed to be going fine, but it quickly got very awkward. She was feeding Gabanna from her lap when her aunt got upset and said it was "disgusting."
"So i jokingly said that he was my son and that he was politely asking his mommy for food. She looked at me appalled and said 'how can you forget about your actual human child?? You want to change him for a stupid brainless animal? If you didn't want him, you should've just closed your legs,'" OP shared.
Wow.
OP was crushed.
OP quickly left the table. Heartbroken, she decided to go to sleep. When she woke up, she was filled with doubt.
"When i woke up i thought of what she said and maybe its true. Idk. Nowadays i felt happier being by myself with Gabbana, so maybe she took it as if it never mattered to me??? Idk, but it surely makes me question if im the a–hole," she wrote.
Redditor were full of empathy and not hate for OP.
People immediately let OP know that she is grieving, and that is OK.
"You had a horrible, traumatic experience. its only natural to try to find something to fill the hole," someone commented. "Its not even been a year, just take your time. Your moms aunt is a major AH."
People assured her that what she is exerpiencing is serious.
"I 100% agree, NTA. OP, postpartum depression is no joke, and I wouldn't be surprised if you still had it, even without the child," one person assured her. "You've been through a lot lately and speaking to someone, even if it's for a short time, could really help."
"My heart breaks for you. I've also had PPD and it's hard to get over it and to lose your child in the process is horrible," someone else wrote. "You are NTA for your response. I would go NC with the aunt. I hope you're still in therapy, because with everything you've been through, it might be wise."
People want OP to get away from her aunt ASAP.
What kind of person says something so cruel? Reddit wasn't having it, and they want OP away from her aunt as soon as she can.
"I'm so sorry for everything you went through. Your pup is very much like a therapy animal and that is perfectly OK!!" someone commented. "Your aunt was cruel and is a HUGE AH!! Please go no-contact with her, and allow yourself to heal from all that you have been though."
Another person agreed, writing, "Cut your family from your life. They do not care about you. Continue therapy. Oh my God this was a horrible read. Please be safe. The way your aunt just jumped. What the hell."
"Your life was pretty hard so far, and you went through a lot," another person chimed in. "You are healing the way you can. You aren't hurting anyone. Your aunt is a gaping a–hole."
Readers encouraged OP to continue her therapy.
No one blamed OP for having such a hard time. She is struggling with a tremendous loss that we can't begin to understand unless we have experienced it. Redditors' best advice was for her to keep doing therapy so she can heal.
"Her words were horrible. Please be kind to yourself and keep up with therapy to help you process your losses," one person wrote.
"You've suffered incredible losses, and if this helps you cope, it's fine," another commenter assured OP. "I would also suggest therapy or a support group to further the healing process."
People realize how much an animal can sometimes help in ways that nothing else can.
"I lost my son as well and my only comfort is my dog," one commenter empathized. "He won't leave me when I cry and has been a huge comfort as I had no one else."
OP, take your time.
OP, no one can tell you how to mourn. Your loss is immeasurable, and you must deal with things the best way you know how to. If that means making your dog an integral part of your life right now, that's OK. You are NTA. Stay the course and follow your heart. Don't let anyone tell you how to live.
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