My Parents Pierced My Toddler’s Ears Without Permission & Now We Don’t Speak at All

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When it comes to child-rearing, many people say things like "It takes a village." Although that may be true, there are some things best left up to the child's parents. They know their children best, and ultimately, they should have the final say when it comes to their care. People need to respect those boundaries. But, of course, that doesn't always happen.

A very upset mother posted in Reddit's AITA forum after her parents made what she thought was a huge decision on her behalf regarding her young daughter. The original poster and her husband took a trip from Phoenix down to Mexico, and the grandparents got the child's ears pierced without permission while they were gone. Now OP wants nothing to do with them. Is she wrong?

The grandparents might have dropped a hint.

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OP explained in her post to the Am I the A–hole forum that her mom and dad gave her 1-year-old daughter, who did not have pierced ears, earrings for her birthday during a visit to Mexico. OP thanked them for their kindness and said she would keep them until the child was older and had her ears pierced.

"We left my daughter with my parents while we went to meet up with some friends. When we went to pick up my daughter my mom showed us that we didn't need to wait because they had taken her to get her ears pierced," OP explained. "I got my daughter and I dragged my husband out of there before he lost his s—. We went back to our hotel."

She decided to end the trip right then.

Furious, OP and her husband cut off contact with her parents and went back to Phoenix. She did not answer their calls and took a few days to cool down. When she was ready to talk, she had a solution.

"I said that we were not going to change our minds. They started getting everyone including my grandmother to call me and say I was being ridiculous. I talked with my husband and we came up with a compromise," she wrote. "We agreed that we would resume visits, but not alone time, with them if they both got their noses pierced. They said that we are being stupid and that they are not going to do that. I said no problem and hung up. We have started blocking anyone who tries to call us and give us s— for denying my parents their RIGHT to see my daughter."

Is she being an a–hole?

Redditors were on OP's side.

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The comments don't show a single YTA (You're the A–hole) in the bunch, and many people believed these grandparents were pretty shady.

"Putting holes in a childs body (thats not your child) should be down right abuse and punishable by crime. I'm honestly amazed they found a piercer that was willing to do it without LEGAL guardian consent," one person point out. "But I guess this was in Mexico so they wouldn't have the same laws at tattoo / piercing shops. I'd assume this would be illegal in the US, unless they found someone to back-door do the piercing without the right legal approvals."

Redditors loved OP's style.

One person declared that she wasn't being a jerk. "And hilarious clap back to them. Protect your child. Can't believe they felt entitled enough to get a baby's ears pierced without getting permission," the person wrote.

Someone else agreed. "You're making a point that your parents, and a lot of people in this sub, don't seem to be understanding," the person wrote. "Your parents can refuse, and they have. Your daughter didn't get that choice because HER GRANDPARENTS TOOK IT FROM HER. That is the point OP is trying to make. Frankly? Good for you."

Some believed it was a cultural thing.

OP explained early on that she is a US citizen but her parents are not. Some Redditors who have similar cultural traditions, however, still didn't like what the grandparents did.

"In my culture, it is super common to pierce the ears of toddler girls. We usually get a professional goldsmith/piercer to do this," one person shared. "Lots of them do house visits to do the piercing and they use sterilized needle for same. I got mine as a toddler and while I remember the process, I can barely remember any pain, so the goldsmith did a good job without causing mental or physical trauma."

Someone else agreed: "I came from a country where it is almost traditional to give babies piercings before their 1st birthdays and I still think OP's parents are still AHs for doing it behind the baby's parents backs. NTA."

OP is right to stand up for herself.

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Just because our parents did things way back when doesn't make them OK now. For OP, this was a big line, and now she wants her parents to respect her boundaries.

If only they'd taken the hint when she told them she planned to save the earrings for a later date – they could have avoided a lot of heartache.