In CafeMom's monthly series, Work It, Mama, powerful moms detail how they navigate their professions and home life.
Cara Loren Van Brocklin, who goes by Cara Loren, has been living an active life since she was a child. Coming up, she danced and was a cheerleader, but as she entered adulthood, she stepped back from fitness a bit. And by the time she had her first son, Hanes, she wasn’t very active at all. It was a pattern she might have continued with her second-born, Arrow, but she had an epiphany.
Taking care of two boys, Cara realized that she needed to do something differently if she wanted to be present for her children. She recognized that she needed to get back on her fitness journey.
"It’s not even about how I look in general," Cara tells CafeMom. "Yes, I wanted to make changes. But [it was about] how I felt.”
Cara felt tired. “I did not have the energy I [once] had," she adds. "My days felt long. I just felt sluggish. I was like, ‘I’ve got to make a change.'”
That was eight years ago.
Since then, Cara has run 'full throttle' back into her fitness journey.
Throughout that journey, she zeroed in on her signature routine.
“I would write down what I was doing each day," she details. "I would come up with my own programs. Upper body, lower body. I knew I needed to lift weights. I also added in cardio.”
Lifting weights was new for her, but it was something she wanted to try.
“It was intimidating at first, going into the weight section,” Cara tells us. “But I think having a plan and knowing what I wanted to do helped a ton. I really got into it by trial and error, figuring out what worked, what didn’t, when I saw the most differences.”
Loren also began being more intentional about what she was eating, counting macros, carbs, and protein.
Eventually, through trial and error, she discovered what worked best for her. When she started to see results in addition to her newfound energy level, there was no turning back.
“I need this for myself,” Cara says of her fitness routine. “I can’t let all of this go.”
The time she dedicated to herself in working out benefitted her parenting. “[Before], I didn’t feel like I had the energy to do fun things with my kids and play with them. By giving a little bit of time to myself, I felt like the time I was giving to my kids was so much more meaningful.”
Cara, who created her lifestyle blog in 2012, documented her fitness journey. Her followers not only appreciated the content, but they also wanted to know how they could incorporate her fitness routine into their lives. Cara was met with so many requests from her followers to share her process that she said it “felt silly” not to launch something for them.
Even though the idea for the Burn app was a no-brainer, the process of getting it out into the world was not an easy one.
“I’m not going to lie, it took us over a year to perfect this app,” admits Cara. “I wanted it to reflect that this is exactly what I do and what I did to see my results. It’s a community vibe. Come join along with what I’m doing.”
Because diet and workout culture can be toxic if not kept in the proper perspective, Cara wants her followers to keep that in mind even as they look to her for guidance on their fitness journeys.
“It’s so easy to look at someone and be like 'I want my body to look just like that.' But that’s the wrong way to look at it,” Cara says. “You want to be your best self. Push yourself in a way that you’re feeling good after your workout each day. You’re encouraged to go the next day. You don’t want to be discouraged, thinking I’m never going to get to where I want to be.”
For Cara, personally, the workout aspect is easier to keep in check. She finds she has to use more discipline when it comes to her diet. Still, she believes the holidays might be the perfect time to get a little more lax.
“I think there is a season for everything,” Cara says. “I don’t think you should always be in heavy cut mode. You have to give yourself grace. In my opinion, the holidays are the perfect time for that. My definition of grace is not totally stopping your workouts or eating so poorly you’re not feeling good."
Grace looks like balance, she adds.
“Let’s say you know you have a party with friends on Wednesday and there are going to be treats. Great. Eat a little more clean the other days that week so when you go, you can have the treats," she advises.
"I’m the biggest treater there is. If someone is making baked goods, I’m going to try them. I’m still working on this, but try them and stop there. Don’t eat until you make yourself sick. Is it OK to have fun during the holidays? Yes. That’s enjoyment. That’s life. You can’t always be at 100%.”
For fellow moms, it may feel like we’re rarely operating at 100% when we’re chasing kids around. Cara explains how she does it with four kids ages 11, 8, 4, and 1.
“There are days when I definitely feel like it’s a lot,” Cara tells us. “It has its ups and downs. But would I change it for the world? No."
The secret to her sanity is in the scheduling.
“Usually, I try to wake up a little before my kids do,” Cara says. She has a treadmill in her house so if she wants to do a quick cardio session, she can do that from the comfort of her home. If that doesn’t happen, she usually works out at the gym once her kids are up and off to school.
Cara tries her best to plan. But anyone with children knows that you have to leave room for flexibility.
“Half the time, I’ll finish my whole workout at home," she explains. "It really depends on what my kids’ schedule is and my work schedule. But it is a priority for me to carve out 45 minutes to an hour to work out. I can’t lie and say there are some days when I have my baby in the gym with me down there and it’s kind of back and forth. But at least I am having that time.”
Even though Cara is clear that her day is altered by her kids' activities and needs, she also makes her daily workout time a priority.
“My kids are my No. 1 priority, but I’m really important to myself too,” she shares. “I need to take care of myself to take care of them the best way I can.”
In prioritizing her children and taking care of herself, Cara also has to be intentional about making sure she can dedicate quality time to her husband, bestie, and business partner, Brody Van Brocklin.
Cara admits that although they see each other all of the time, it can be very easy to lose connection. “By the end of the night, it’s like, ‘I haven’t talked to you about anything besides work.’ Let’s have an actual conversation,” Cara says.
And though she loves her gig, there have been times when she’s taken on too much and has suffered because of it.
“I went through this space when I was killing myself, working all hours of the night because I didn’t have my schedule down very well,” she says. “I’d just be working until 2 a.m. I’d get into bed and didn’t have time with my husband. That was so unhealthy. I realized really quickly that I needed to come up with a better schedule.”
That schedule included admitting that she needed additional help with her children.
“That was just reality," she says. "By the time I had Chapel, my fourth kid, I was like, ‘OK, I can’t do this all by myself.’ I need a little bit of help for a couple of hours each day so I can get work done.”
Those hours were needed because now when her kids come home from school, work has to stop.
“My boys have eight basketball games a week,” Cara says. “They have football practice every single day. We are extremely busy. We’re in a phase where the older kids are really busy with sports and activities, then we have the toddler and baby still. So we’re in the thick of it.”
So, with all of that going on, how does Cara practice self-care?
“I love getting a simple facial," she says. "There’s something about that for me that is like life-changing. Getting my nails done. It sounds silly, but it’s relaxing. It’s fun for me and it is something I like to keep up on and take care of.”
Our beauty practices are far from silly, especially if they help us feel calm and collected. But Cara’s self-care regime stretches beyond beauty as it also involves internal work.
For Cara, part of that prioritization list is remembering the bond she shares with her husband.
“He is my best friend,” Cara shares. “We have such good conversations. There is no one I would rather spend time with. He is the most stress-free, happy-go-lucky person ever. He’s so perfect for me in that way. He helps me prioritize what I need. He reminds me, ‘You need a little you time. I scheduled you a pedicure. Don’t take your phone to work. Just sit there and relax.’”
Taking a page from her husband's book in a way, Cara’s life motto is rooted in her desire to choose to see the good.
Making time for the people who pour back into you is a part of her credo. She makes sure to place herself in the company of people who have her best interest in mind. In doing so, she can focus on choosing to see the good.
“There’s no point to sit and dwell on the negative," she says. "As corny as it sounds, choose to be positive. I’m going to put my energy and effort into positive things in life and surround myself with positive people — people who make me feel better about myself and lift me up.”
