Remember when kids' birthday parties were simple gatherings with a few games, presents, a slice of cake, and a scoop of ice cream, and everyone was on their way? Those were the days. Kids' birthday parties have become exclusive social gatherings, with people clamoring for an invitation. They are over-the-top events that cost parents an arm and a leg, and when only a select group gets invited, it can cause all kinds of heartache.
A mom posted about her daughter's recent 13th birthday party at a trampoline park in Reddit's AITA forum. The space held 20 kids, which seemed perfect as her daughter has 20 kids in her class — that meant everyone was invited. But the teen told her mom to book 19 spots and convinced her the class was smaller than she thought. That wasn't the truth and one young girl ended up turned away at the door. Is the mom a jerk for allowing this to happen?
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The teenage guest of honor appears to be a liar.
The original poster, 36, explained that her daughter told her to just reserve 19 spots at a trampoline park for a sleepover party. The number seemed wrong, but OP trusted her daughter. On the day of the party, a young girl named Kamilla showed up with a gift ready for the party. But OP's daughter hadn't invited her.
"I remembered picking up my [daughter] from school at the beginning of the school year and seeing her chatting and being very friendly with Kamilla, so I assumed they were quite good friends. When Kamilla went up to hug my daughter and wish her a happy birthday, she lightly pushed her away and told Kamilla she couldn't attend as we forgot to book her place," OP explained. "I apologised to Kamilla and her mother and offered to talk to the people in charge and pay for her place, but my daughter insisted that Kamilla couldn't come. Kamilla was very distraught over this and started sobbing."
OP told Kamilla and her mom to leave.
OP's daughter told her mom she didn't like Kamilla and didn't want her at the party. She called her "really weird, obsessive, and creepy" and told OP to kick them out of the party, so she did.
The mom told Kamilla and her mother there wasn't enough room for her, and she had to leave. Kamilla's mother claimed the girls were best friends and she couldn't believe OP would treat her this way. Kamilla started to cry, and her mother called OP a "bully."
Kamilla's mom went to the school and told them what happened, and she wants OP's daughter punished.
"I've tried explaining to her that my daughter was simply setting her boundaries, she shouldn't have to face consequences for that. Kamilla's mother said that I was an 'evil b—-' who 'took joy in bullying little girls,'" OP wrote.
Who's wrong here?
Redditors started to read between the lines.
They quickly pointed out that OP's daughter lied to her mother from the beginning.
"YTA. The real issue here is your daughter lied to you about the class size so she could exclude this one person," a comment reads. "It's possible that Kamilla makes your daughter uncomfortable but it's also possible that your daughter is being unnecessarily mean. With teenagers, it could go either way."
This person thought OP should have shut the whole thing down immediately. "Yes, she can invite who she wants if she does it openly and honestly. She didn't. She lied to you and no, your daughter wasn't setting boundaries," the commenter wrote. "She was cruel to one kid. I suspect she made a big deal out of giving out the invites as well given that Kamilla knew exactly where and what time the party was at."
This person agreed, writing, "You want a kid who can speak up for herself. Great. But she didn't do that. She didn't tell you she didn't want to invite Kamilla. She lied to you to get her way, so she could purposely exclude the girl.
"She lied to Kamilla in front of you," the person continued. "You also lied to them. You didn't talk to the people in charge, you talked to your daughter and then decided to tell them there weren't enough places. This isn't setting boundaries. YTA."
Plenty of people believe OP's daughter is a bully.
She may not like Kamilla, but being a jerk on purpose is not OK with Redditors.
This person knew how the young girl felt, sharing, "I was the 'Kamilla' when I was in school. All the girls in the class were invited to the birthday parties except me cause I was a bit weird. It destroyed me, along with the other bullying, and destroyed my confidence and self esteem for years."
And this person pointed out the math wasn't quite mathing: "5 students of 20 is a choice. 19 out of 20 is isolation. If this one student didn't bully her, wasn't rude, but just 'weird' your daughter is actively isolating and possibly bully a girl that just 'doesn't fit the crowd'. YTA and so is your daughter."
Some people just wanted answers.
"So, you asked if your daughter was being bullied yet didn't manage to see what she did was bullying?" one person questioned. "She purposely excluded her and didn't even tell you she was… all because Kamilla is 'weird'?"
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OP has to find out the truth.
Redditors agreed that OP was treating a child unfairly as an adult after her daughter lied. They want her to get to the bottom of what is really going on.
OP's daughter needs to learn a bit of empathy and understand that she doesn't have to be Kamilla's best friend, but inviting the whole class except one person is never OK.
