A woman is trying to figure out how to move her relationship forward after her husband disappeared. The hardest thing for her? Her husband came back, completely shaking her to her core. It wasn’t as if her husband was gone for a few days or even a week. He was gone for several months, going completely no contact.
The woman had to continue on with her life, caring for herself and her children. Now that he’s back, she’s confused about what to do. He wants to act like nothing happened, but it’s not that easy for her.
The husband disappeared at the beginning of the year.
Going to the advice message boards of popular site Mumsnet, the woman shared that her husband went missing shortly after the new year. According to the woman, her husband didn’t leave a note or any sort of message when he left. “Just packed a bag and vanished. Wouldn’t answer calls or texts, blocked on everything,” she wrote.
“No one from his side heard from him either, not even his mum (who’s beside herself). Police said he was fine, ‘left voluntarily’ or whatever so not much they could do,” she added.
She has three young children.
The woman explained that she has been “barely holding it together” since her husband disappeared. She assumed that her husband had simply run away or that maybe something bad had happened to him. But she knew he wasn’t dead, and it made things difficult for her.
Her husband suddenly reappeared.
Her post came a day after her husband came back home. She claimed that he came in like he had only gone out to the store for a bit. He claimed he’d “been ‘sorting himself out’ and ‘couldn’t cope’ and that he’s ready to come home now,” she said. But he didn’t apologize for disappearing or give her an explanation, he just acted “like nothing happened.”
She said her kids were “confused,” and her oldest children “cried all night” about what happened. “I’m angry and numb and tired and I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do with this. I feel like I’ve spent 6 months mourning and now he’s back like a ghost,” she said.
She said that her husband wants to talk, but she didn’t let him stay in their home. She said she isn’t sure she’s interested in what he has to say. “I feel totally lost,” she wrote.
People were incredibly supportive.
Many commenters believe that the woman has every right to create boundaries, and they actively encouraged her to stand her ground while also suggesting that may she should hear him out.
“This is insane,” one person wrote. “You poor thing. The sheer bloody cheek of him to not even apologize after blocking HIS WIFE?! Do you want to talk to him? If so definitely do it in a neutral place.”
Another person wrote: “My god how crazy! Of course he can’t come back! Your poor little ones, and poor you, what an absolutely awful situation. You’ve done so amazingly to keep going/keep a roof over your heads etc!”
“It may be helpful to hear him out, away from the kids and keep him out of the house until you’ve decided what to do next,” someone else suggested. “But he’s going to have to put in a huge amount of effort to rebuild the trust. Take your time and do what feels right for you all. Don’t be pressured into taking him back if you’re not ready. You don’t have to.”
Can you say, unreal? This story is absolutely wild and so is the man’s apparent sense of entitlement.
