If your sibling didn’t approve of your relationship, would you babysit their kids? That’s what one man is asking. He posted on Reddit, asking people for their advice after his sister told him that he couldn’t bring his long-term boyfriend to events where her preschooler would be in attendance.
Despite her not wanting the man’s boyfriend around her son, she still expected her brother to babysit his nephew. When he refused, she got angry, getting the entire family involved with their disagreement.
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The man has been with his boyfriend for more than a year.
Posting in the popular AITA forum on Reddit, the man explained that he and his boyfriend Ryan, have been dating for about a year. At the last family gathering, his older sister Amanda took him aside telling him, “Hey just so you know it might be better if you dont bring Ryan to the next few family gatherings.”
When the man asked why, she responded that his 4-year-old nephew Jack, had been “asking questions about you and Ryan, and I don’t think he’s old enough to understand all that yet.”
He was confused by her request.
“I told her we weren’t exactly putting on a Pride parade in her yard. We were literally just eating hot dogs and chatting with family,” he replied. But she stood her ground saying, “It’s just confusing for him. You know how kids are.”
When he expressed that he didn’t feel welcome if his boyfriend wasn’t, his sister called him “dramatic.”
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When she needed his help, he wasn't interested in taking on that role.
Some time after their conversation, his sister called him “panicked.” Her babysitter had canceled and she needed someone to watch Jack.
“I told her I couldn’t because Ryan and I already had plans,” the man wrote in his post. When his sister “begged,” he replied, “Why do you want me babysitting Jack? What if I accidentally expose him to my terrifying gay lifestyle? God forbid he sees me and Ryan together.”
His sister accused him of “punishing Jack” because he was angry at her. His sister then told their parents, and the “real drama started.”
“My mum called and said I was being selfish for letting a ‘small disagreement’ ruin my relationship with Amanda. I told her it wasn’t small and reminded her of Amanda’s comment about ‘confusing’ Jack. Mum brushed it off saying ‘She’s just doing what’s best for her child,'” he wrote.
Thankfully, his dad was on his side. “He said Amanda was being narrow minded and told her ‘Kids aren’t confused by love they’re confused by people acting like it’s something to hide,'” OP wrote.
Things continued to get worse.
Amanda apparently wasn’t done with her tirade, taking the argument to an extended family group chat. Getting his aunt, uncle, cousin, and grandmother involved, his sister was forcing everyone to take sides.
His uncle took his sister’s side, while his cousin and grandmother stood with him. When his aunt said they should “support each other,” his grandmother replied, “Support doesn’t mean tolerating disrespect.”
Then the man’s brother-in-law texted him, saying, “Look I don’t have a issue with you or Ryan, but this is getting out of hand. Amanda’s just trying to avoid awkward questions from Jack, not insult you.”
The man replied “Its already insulting. Would she say the same thing if I were dating a woman?” He never received an answer.
Commenters were overwhelmingly on the man's side.
“If jack is old enough to understand a man and woman being together he’s old enough to understand a man and man being together. I am also gay and I would have said the same thing to my sister,” one person wrote. “It’s disappointing that this has divided your family, it really brings out their true colours. I think you should go little to no contact with your sister.”
“I am shocked at the level of pathology it takes for your sister to take your personal disagreement, expand it to your parents and then take it public in a broader setting with the large family group chat,” another person commented. “Her husband reaching out to you to tell you that ‘things are out-of-hand’ when this is all his wife’s doing is really just icing on the dysfunction cake.”
“Jack can totally handle your relationship with Ryan, it’s the adults in your family who cannot. You are absolutely right to object and to not babysit if this is the attitude they are going to give you about it,” someone else wrote.
“Your dad and cousin said it perfectly. Children can understand gay relationships just as well as straight ones,” another person pointed out. “Amanda sounds like one of those idiots who believe that children become gay if they’re exposed to them.”
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