What would you do if you found out that someone in your extended family had a crush on you? One woman turned to the internet for advice after finding out her brother-in-law has had a crush on her for years. And if that wasn’t enough, her brother-in-law is recently engaged!
This is the type of drama that is normally reserved for a television show. Naturally, the woman was at a loss at how to move forward. Even though she knows nothing would come of his confession, it’s still a tricky situation to find balance in.
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The woman turned to Reddit for advice on what to do.
In her post, the woman explained that she and her husband have been together for five years, and married for two. When their relationship began, she became close to her husband’s older brother, saying she “always wanted one.”
Because of her close relationship with her brother-in-law, she also became close to his girlfriend. “I went out of my way to make sure she knew she had a friend in me if she wanted since we’re the only girls in the family,” she explained.
She shared that her and the BIL’s girlfriend have become “great friends,” adding that after the couple got engaged, she began helping with wedding plans. The soon-to-be bride even asked the woman to be a bridesmaid in her wedding.
After going wedding dress shopping with her future sister-in-law, the woman found herself alone with her brother-in-law at the couple’s home. She admitted that she was “a little buzzed” from mimosas at brunch, but even in that state, she couldn’t have guessed what he would tell her.
Her brother-in-law's confession came as a complete shock.
“I think I’ve had feelings for you for a few years and I’ve never been able to tell you and just needed to know if you ever felt the same,” he said. The woman “completely froze and just shook my head” before telling her brother-in-law that she “never thought about him in any way other than a friend and a brother and I never would.”
She then made an excuse about getting her period to his fiancée. She had her best friend pick her up and take her home. The woman was waiting for her husband to come home to discuss the situation. “I just have no idea where to go from there. Do I tell his fiancé, do I make him tell her, do I leave it, do I have my husband talk to him?” she wondered.
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Many people implored her to talk to her husband about how to proceed.
“You tell your husband first,” someone advised. “Discuss everything with him and then make a plan. You are a team. Listen to what your husband think about talking to his brother first vs. telling the fiance. In my opinion, you and your husband should talk to his brother together and let the brother tell his fiancee. If he won’t tell her then tell the fiancee before they get married.”
“Tell your husband immediately,” another person wrote. “Your BIL was trying to shoot his shot with you, before he went through with his wedding. He was actively trying to steal his brother’s wife. It’s time for both you and your husband to distance yourselves from BIL. Maybe together you and your husband can talk to his fiancee , afterwards. I wouldn’t approach her. Alone. Do it fast before BIL preemptively tries to tell your husband or his fiancee that you tried to hit on him, because he thinks you will tell on him, after you shut him down.”
Someone else had a different take: “Your FBIL is not in love with you. He loves your relationship with his brother and is getting cold feet. You and your husband need to talk to him and let him find out if this is normal nerves or a warning that he needs to call this wedding off.”
The woman shared an update the next day.
“I explained the whole thing and he was livid at his brother, thankfully he gave me a hug and I broke down crying from the stress,” the woman explained. “He assured me I did everything right and it wasn’t my fault.”
When her husband went to confront his brother over the phone, the brother informed him that he and his fiancée were on their way over to discuss the whole situation. Her BIL told his fiancée everything after the women had left their home.
“First she slapped him, deserved. But after they talked and he promised her that his feelings for her were genuine, she said that he needed to apologize to me and his brother and then they could go from there,” she shared.
They were all able to come up with a solution that works for everyone.
According to the woman, her BIL’s fiancée had caught him “gazing” at the OP during a family vacation, and suspected his feelings. Ultimately, the BIL shared that his feelings came more from jealousy than actual romantic feelings.
The couple agreed to privately put their wedding plans on hold while they go to therapy and sort things out. “Things will be tense, but I think he feels genuine remorse and my potential SIL says she holds no ill will against me and if they move forward, she’d still love to have me as a bridesmaid if I’m willing,” the woman explained. She also added that her husband and his brother “have some serious work to do on their relationship,” and that her friendship with BIL “will never be the same again.”
Ultimately, the group decided to keep the situation between the four of them. However, the couple will tell people that they’re going to therapy before continuing with their wedding planning.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
