Dear Mom Mode,
First, know that you’re not alone and this is completely normal! So many of us moms (and our partners) think we should be able to flip a switch and go from “busy, multitasking mama” to “sexy, turned-on wife” without missing a beat. But that’s not the case, not even close.
That’s why we need a transition phase. We need space to let the mom stuff go and find the sexy, sultry woman within. This doesn’t happen in a quick shower to shave our legs. It needs to be an intentional shift of energy.
By making a conscious effort to let go of the inner mom, the grocery shopper, the dinner cooker, the work-at-home boss babe, and playdate planner, you create the space for your sensual inner goddess to rise. It allows you to become present in your body and feel the sensations it creates. This transition gives you the opportunity to recognize sensual inputs and become open to give and receive pleasure.
If you’re thinking this sounds great but is completely impossible to achieve, I’m here to guide the way with my easy, three-step method. Check it out, but more importantly, TRY IT OUT!
First, make a plan.
When you want something to happen, you need to make it a priority and have a plan or it likely won’t happen. And you must enlist the help of your partner.
So, ask your partner to take over the kids’ bedtime responsibilities, often the hardest part of an already long day, and use that time to transition from mom to lover. Talk to your partner earlier in the day, providing reminders that by giving you this kid-free time, it allows you to tap into your sexy side and prepare for sharing pleasure and love.
Second, bring on the sensual inputs.
Once you’ve been relieved of mom duties, it’s time to start your transition. And it begins with a bit of decompression. I recommend a nice, slow stretch session to unwind, letting go of the day’s stressors and tomorrow’s to-dos.
Start by intentionally shifting gears, moving your energy toward sensual delight. Put on some sensual music, stand in front of the mirror, and reach your arms toward the sky, energizing and awakening your body.
Begin to move your hips, maybe twist left and right. Feel your body move. Watch as your body and mind start to soften and open to sensuality and pleasure.
Third, let your sultry side rise.
As your stress melts away and your sensuality starts to simmer, recognize the feelings inside. You are a sensual woman. Know that your lover helped you create the space to transition into a sensual being, and let the enthusiasm for what’s ahead build.
Look in the mirror. See your beautiful self. Place your hands on your body. Tap into your own sensual rhythm. Remember, it’s this transition that nurtures and awakens your sensuality, when you actively choose to be a more sultry and sensuous lover and partner.
Step-by-step instructions can help.
If the idea of stretching and touching yourself in front a mirror sounds horrifying, I’m including an action plan for you to follow! One where all you have to do is move your pelvis to activate your body and bring movement into your sexual center.
Start by circling your hips and pelvis to the right, stirring up sensual energy. Imagine drawing little circles with your tailbone, pushing back and squeezing forward. Squeeze the muscles of your pelvic floor as you circle.
Now, switch to the left. Find the flow that works for you, what feels good. In the same way you did with the right, push back and squeeze forward, focusing your energy on your pelvic floor. Pay attention as heat starts to build.
When you’re ready add some pelvic tilts. Press your hips forward. Swing them back. Forward. And back. Bring your hands to your hips and connect with the sensations in your body.
Make big hip circles, nice and slow. Imagine you’re scraping honey from the inside of a big honey pot with your hips, your pelvis, your bum. Feel the openness happening in your hips and let that sensual, honeyed energy spread throughout your body.
So, there you go, Mom Mode. Try these steps and see if it helps you transition from a tired mom to a sensually empowered woman ready to experience pleasure with her partner.
XOXO
Dana
ICYMI, check out some of my previous columns:
How Do I Get Better at Asking for What Turns Me On If I'm Slightly Embarrassed?
My Partner & I Have Issues Communicating. How Can We Stop Arguing & Get Closer?
Sleep Sounds Better Than Sex Most Nights. How Do I Get My Libido Back?
Dana B. Myers is the founder of Booty Parlor and author of The Mommy Mojo Makeover. Ask Dana your burning relationship questions at [email protected].
